help me accomplish my lifes goal

[Jacob31593]

i need to raise $100 so i can buy a guitar and make instrumentals of the songs i would like if they were instrumentals but no one has made an instrumental of them yet

Current funds:  $0
Donations:  -$0.35
Money Needed:  $20

Donors:
Zodiac|$20
Hookers and Blow|-$20.36
Lydyn|$00,000,000.01

[Archael]

do you have a sister / girlfriend?


maybe you and I can work something out Jacob.

[Jacob31593]

i have both, but im sure my services will be enough for you to attain your needs

[Archael]

I didnt ask for u

I asked for ur sister / girlfriend

are you saying you cant deliver?

[Jacob31593]

my sister is in kansas and my gf is off limits, so you'll have to settle for my adroit tounge and hands

[Vanya]

What the hell kind of pimp are you!?!?! I demand my money back!?!?! O.o o.O

[Archael]

that won't do

sorry

you get no money from me

[Jacob31593]

thanks to a very generous donation from zodiac im now $20 closer to my goal, my excuse to mom for the bleeding is that i fell backwards into a doorknob

[Dokurider]

Why whore yourself out when you can just sell blow and meth?

[Jacob31593]

Why whore yourself out when you can just sell blow and meth?

two reasons
whoring is more enjoyable and to start selling drugs i would need money to buy drugs so i could sell them at a higher price

[Dokurider]

Hence why I added meth.

1. Steal PROPANE
2. Steal alot of other chemicals
3. Put 'em together
4. Sell
5. Trailer catches fire and explodes
6. ??????????
7. PROFIT!1!!1

[Jacob31593]

hmm...or i could just go down on you? choose wisely

[Archael]

Here's why I propose giving me your gf for 1 night would be a better idea.

1) You're prepared to give a blowjob (GAY) in exchange for money
2) But you're not prepared to give up GF
3) But girlfriend will dump you if you do option #1
4) Meaning the girlfriend is not yours to begin with

in conclusion: give me your girlfriend and I will solve your problems

bitch

[Jacob31593]

my gf is a chick with a dick though so gtfo

[Dokurider]

I'll even help you out by telling you how to steal some propane.

Good thing you're a lancer. Good Tank Abilities, Great Power, Naturally Fast. Now here's how you're gonna steal some PROPANE.

Now when you're at the PROPANE factory, (you wanna come at night, obviously) their will be a single guard at the entrance. There's a tree just 5 panels away. Sneak into the tree and jump on him. Provided you came equipped with a good spear, you should drop him in one hit.

Now the factory has a weird security setup. You see, they only have one security guard at night, but the PROPANE tanks are set on a pressure switch, which, when pressure is taken off, sounds the alarms, contacts the police, and releases the hounds.

After you've killed the guard, just walk right in and grab as many PROPANE tanks as possible, but do it fast, as aforementioned alarm will go off and the hounds will come after you. Hopefully, you've bought a shield to fend them off.

Now all you have to do is run outside and clear the fence, (you're a lancer, should be a snap for you), and you're home free.

[Archael]

lol I love how PROPANE is always in caps throughout entire post

[Dokurider]

[Xifanie]

Donor? I never donated. My rate is 5% per day. That means the due amount doubles every 2 weeks.

[gojoe]

i have a guitar you can have for twenty bucks, it's missing a few strings and you'll have to provide the moogle yourself but i dont require you to go gay, lose your girlfriend or get the already widened a$$hole of yours bigger by going to prison after stealing PROPANE (and PROPANE accessories).

[DarthPaul]

go with gojoes option strings are only a couple bucks at most

i normally buy them in bulk (which means 2 sets cause i play a bass and though strings (heh heh) dont break often(normally only during extreme slap and pop))