Dear FFH, I'm Sorry - Arch

[Archael]

I'm pretty sure everyone knows the story already but I'll summarize it here just in case anyone's been out of the loop.
I moved to NYC in May, for a full-time job. I was away from FFH while I moved basically my entire life over there, and was very inactive.
Once I settled in I got back on FFH and ran into this PM sitting in my inbox:

spoiler

Upon first reading it, my immediate reaction was: "Ok this guy is out of his mind, this is NOT "The DOTA of FFT" and you DON'T have "breakthroughs in AI Enhancements", nor do you have an "Arcade style tournament game using FFT's engine, because you don't know how to code that". He's trying to take me and the rest of the site for idiots into working for him. And to top it off he's saying that it's different from Mercenaries because it actually has a chance of being completed... :/

But hell, what did I know?? I had been away from FFH for too long to make any good judgement on something like this. So I got on IRC chat to talk to some of you and saw the IA forum and how excited you all were, so I thought: "Yeah! A project we can finally get behind from someone who sounds motivated enough to actually finish!" I was ecstatic, like I imagine a lot of you were when you first heard about it and willingly offered to help (Lijj, Smash, Lasting_Dawn, Zodiac, others.) Although the post sounded a little market-y and probably way too ambitious, I decided to ignore Asmo's warnings (who had already quit the project before I joined) and Zodiac's warnings (who told me R999 had a shitty attitude) I decided to help. I decided, how bad can it be? My involvement with IA lasted about 4 or 5 days, the same amount of time it took me to realize that this guy wanted to work on nothing but sprites and was looking for "manpower" for people to do the rest of the project for him, and that the way he treated the people with talent who did end up working for him with passive aggression was insulting to say the least.  He used the most ridiculous excuses to dismiss critiques of his work, all while using even more ridiculous excuses to dismiss contributions from people much more talented than himself. This post by Smash on the IA forum summed up my thoughts very well:

spoiler

So I quit IA and went about my business, helping Zodiac on his patch, KoI, which was a project I knew would never let my hopes down because the person who is leading it actually is able to do what the patch promises (unlike R999 with his list of "features" that he used to fool everyone, myself included, to help him). That's where it all should have ended, as most would agree, but it didn't.

One night me and Asmo found a IA marketing topic made by R999 which declared some ridiculous actions that would spell trouble for FFH if his attitudes were left unchecked. As BP put it, R999 had illusions of grandeur, and I personally felt like he was building them all on FFH's back. I have been on FFH for over 2 years and a lot of people here know me very well and know how passionate I have been about working here. I take FFH very seriously and always tried to act as the voice for FFH, protecting it's image and reputation on and off it. R999's attitude, to me, felt like a cancer in FFH, and I felt like I had to do something about it. I was livid. I raged at R999 over IRC chat to change the topic, and he did, but then I raged at him some more for treating people who were helping him like shit. Being R999, he didn't admit to anything, and instead told me to fuck off. I obviously had a lot of pent up anger at R999 because I felt he had taken me for a fool with the PM he originally sent me, trying to convince me to join IA, which worked. And even worse, in my mind, was the fact that with the same persuasion tactics he had gathered a small army of defenders.

That night, before logging off, I used my Global Moderation powers to delete 9 topics in the IA forum. I did this out of pure anger, trying to attack R999, while taking down the work of some of the contributors he had gathered as well. I didn't think anything of it, to me, IA was a joke and a negative force on FFH. In my mind, letting R999 know (by force) that his attitude at FFH was wrong was priority #1, and in my rage, I didn't realize a couple of things which Zodiac later pointed out to me:

1) The dangerous thread in question was still hidden from public view, so it was impossible for SE to see it in the first place
2) I was given Global Mod powers in the first place to moderate stuff like KoI, not to attack other people's contributions
3) By attacking IA, I was not only attacking the work of R999 but also of "innocent bystanders" such as LD and other IA contributors

The next morning Zodiac banned me and then took my Global Moderation powers away. At the time I felt betrayed, I felt like I was being banned for trying to eliminate R999 from FFH, someone who I felt was a leech. A bossy leech. I felt like FFH was accepting R999's attitude and punishing me for going against it. Obviously I was blinded by emotion at the time, and it wasn't easy seeing the community to whom you dedicated 2+ years of your life to turning against you, in a way. I felt like all these people, some of them which were thanking me for 1.3 the previous day, seemed to be hating me the next. At the time, it didn't make sense to me. My actions against IA felt completely justified, as if I was acting in FFH's best interest, and I could not understand why people could not see things my way. I acted with irreverence and disrespect to Lasting_Dawn, Zodiac, Zozma, and newcomers to FFH, which were all unrelated to the original incident. Out of pride, I preferred saying "You ban me? Well cya" instead of actually apologizing.

I should have let Zodiac handle the entire thing, instead of letting my personal feelings get in the way. I should have never deleted those topics, because as much as I felt like R999 was wrong, some of you were actually helping him out of your own free will. I should have apologized much earlier, instead of waiting until now to do so. I should have done a lot of things differently, and for that, I am sorry. I've given too much to FFH to be at odds with it.

PS: Some of you are asking why I'm not banned right now, and the reason is that I asked Zodiac for permission to come here and post this.

[Kagebunji]

Well, Arch, welcome back. I was pissed at R too, so I know how you feel. Now things will settle down and we may again work in peace.

[akwikone]

Good to know you're back, man.

-I edited this.

[Archael]

I don't know if I'm back, it's not up to me, it's up to you

I just wanted to post that letter

[Dome]

No doubt that R999 is creepy and was going to do some shitty things to FFH
That's why I made this topic (long time ago) in the first place
But remember Arch...even if you are right, that doesn't give you the right to act like a douchebag
But you apologized, and IMHO, that's what matters (After all, no permanent damage has been done)
Welcome back, FUCKING TROLL
P.s: My sign will remain as a memento
P.p.s:

If it is up to us, then you are back, Arch.

[Kagebunji]

If it is up to us, then you are back, Arch.

[logus]

3) By attacking IA, I was not only attacking the work of R999 but also of "innocent bystanders" such as LD and other IA contributors

That pretty much resumes the whole drama, imo. I'm glad you were able to see it, and I'm also glad to have you back. Unfortunately, ffh produced quite the chat log during one drunk night, but I hope soon we can all just laugh together about it.

ps: keep the sig, dome.

[Shade]

I found funny how I came back after like half year, because of this drama Arch

[Xifanie]

No Arch, you're wrong again.
It's up to you if you want to come back or not. I don't know how the others will react to this, as I think some will still consider you like trash because of those events.
It's up to you if you want to handle that or not.

I'm glad you finally made the difference between IA and R999. Some might say it was wrong to bring that topic up again, but you just explained the events. Personally I never got a PM from him, he just briefly described me what IA is, but of course that included a lot of what IA wasn't yet.
I just hope you're not coming back & apologizing because I banned R999 and archived IA, but it doesn't seem to be the case. You're showing that you're not on "rage" mode anymore, accepting the reasons why I and the others people acted upon the circumstances.


Welcome back Rachel.

PS: This was never supposed to happen in the first place. Given that you will not be restored your full moderating powers since I cannot know if a similar event were to take place again.
PPS: don't chat while you're drunk, unless you like creating good perls.

[Archael]

why would you archive IA?

it's not like you need r999 to finish it

there were people more enthusiastic and more capable behind IA all along

[VampragonLord]

great apology arch! now i have a date to the FFH dance again. Right? Also, would you be interested in assisting in FFTOMGTZ, it has this great mechanic where.....the Resident Evil of FFT......money power and glory.....Either way, itd be great if you stuck around! You really are a huge part of ffh. And youre the butthead that made me come to this site in the first place

[Xifanie]

Do you seriously think someone will see IA and say:
"OMSA SO AWESOME, I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE THIS PROJECT DEAD, I'LL TAKE THE PLACE AND INVEST COUNTLESS HOURS IN A PROJECT I DIDN'T START"

If that were to happen, I can always unarchive. But honestly I don't see that happening.

[Kagebunji]

You are right, but who on whole FFH would like to take it up? I doubt abyone will volunteer. I would gladly help that person though.

[Asmo X]

And I apologise for being particularly vicious in channel recently. That really was some nasty bullshit.

[philsov]

Did anyone else seriously twitch whenever they saw an R999 post?

I mean, when you post like this

Some of the time

And then do this number , followed by maybe changing the colors and more large text it always reminds me of timecube...

Oh, and wb rachel.

[Archael]

And I apologise for being particularly vicious in channel recently. That really was some nasty bullshit.

I don't know why you were so angry

you hated r999's behavior just as much as I did, if not even more (you were the one who pointed me to most of the crazy shit he did in the first place) I just happened to act on it (incorrectly)

was it because I kept refusing to apologize?

[Shade]

You were basicly saying that almost everyone in site sucks including him and were like "I made teh 1.3 myself". I might be wrong.

[Archael]

I think you're right shade

[Shade]

Yeah and I wasn't even at here when this shit broke down I just saw you going badshit insane.

[Kokojo]

This is bullshit and you won't change, nor do you regret your actions because you got what you wanted : R999 banned.

Fucking-yay.