Fuck China

[Pickle Girl Fanboy]

From Yahoo News

China to pull 2D version of Avatar from theaters

spoiler

BEIJING - Chinese censors have ordered the 2D version of "Avatar" pulled from screens across the country, apparently to reduce competition for the homegrown film industry ahead of the nation's biggest holiday season.

The 3D and IMAX versions of James Cameron's global hit will continue their run into February. But Saturday marks the end of 2D screenings of the science fiction epic, which also dramatizes the forced eviction of a people -- a politically sensitive subject in China.

China Film Group, the state-run domestic distributor of the Hollywood blockbuster, has ordered the move after receiving instructions from China's censors. Repeated calls to the distributor's spokesman Tuesday went unanswered.

Reportedly, part of the reason is to reduce competition for China's homegrown films, like the state-backed biopic of Confucius, the ancient Chinese philosopher, starring Hong Kong superstar Chow Yun-fat, which opens this Thursday.

The Beijing Youth Daily on Tuesday quoted UME International Cineplex assistant manager Liu Hui confirming the pullout at theaters in the capital. She said it won't affect the cinema's revenues.

"In UME, the 3D and Imax version make up 90 percent of our box-office income, so it won't affect the majority of viewers. With the pullout of the 2D version, movies like Confucius will gain some room for showing," she said.

Next month is Lunar New Year, the nation's biggest holiday. With a week of vacation or more, many Chinese are expected to flock to the country's theaters. China boasts about a dozen IMAX screens, another 800 3D screens and an estimated 4,500 regular screens. It's unclear how many 2D screens Avatar was playing on.

China remains highly protective of its domestic film industry, allowing only 20 foreign films into the Chinese market each year. Cameron, who visited Beijing in December as part of "Avatar's" press tour, had called on China to end that restriction, which is also being challenged by the World Trade Organization.

There is also sensitivity to the movie's plot, which revolves around the forced evictions of the alien Na'vi race by humans -- a story line that some have said draws unflattering comparisons to China's own, often brutal removal of millions of residents to make way for property developers.

Columnist Huang Hung penned a commentary in the official English-language China Daily, saying the film had struck a chord with Chinese viewers.

"All the forced removal of old neighborhoods in China makes us the only earthlings today who can really feel the pain of the Na'vi," she wrote.

"Avatar" is already the biggest box-office success in China, pulling in more than 300 million yuan ($44.1 million) as of Jan 12. It quickly surpassed last year's "2012" and "Transformers 3."

China's box office is still small compared with North America's, but the country is a growing marketplace for Hollywood. Revenues surged from 920 million yuan in 2003 to 4.3 billion yuan ($630 million) in 2008 -- compared to $9.8 billion in the U.S. in the same year, according to government statistics.

Tickets for the 2D version cost 30 to 40 yuan ($4.40 to $6), while 3D tickets are pricier at 60 to 80 yuan ($9 to $12). An IMAX ticket, at 130 to 150 yuan ($19 to $22), is a very expensive treat for movie-goers in China.

In theaters across the financial metropolis of Shanghai, word of the decision spread quickly.

"It's not just our theater. The 2D 'Avatar' is going to be stopped everywhere," said a ticket sales manager at Nanjing Peace Theater who refused to give his name because he had not been authorized to speak to media.

"If you want to see it, seize the opportunity now -- even for 3D! We just listen to the command from the relevant authority, although we will lose some ticket sales for sure," he said.

___

Associated Press researcher Ji Chen in Shanghai contributed to this report.

[Pickle Girl Fanboy]

How the fuck can we allow China, the worlds most populous police state, to wage an economic war against us?

We - and by we, I mean people who make less than a seven digits a year, the middle and lower classes - do not benefit in any way from our economic relationship with China, yet still we continue to harbor delusions that what is going on is good for us.

But this isn't what bothers me.  I mean, China's leadership is just doing what is in their own best interests.  Can't blame them for that.

No, what bothers me is whoever is in charge of our economic policies is NOT doing what's in our best interests.  Why do we do nothing?

/rant, and also, a question:  Who exactly makes and executes our economic policies with other nations, specifically China?

[Asmo X]

What the fuck are you even talking about?

[DarthPaul]

Who exactly makes and executes our economic policies with other nations, specifically China?

Too many people to mention in one sitting.

We - and by we, I mean people who make less than a seven digits a year, the middle and lower classes - do not benefit in any way from our economic relationship with China, yet still we continue to harbor delusions that what is going on is good for us.

This economics of our relationship with China has given "us" great boons. If no for the fact that they have been buying our debt where would our economy be right now, hmm?

I agree with Asmo "What the fuck are you even talking about?"

[Samuraiblackbelt]

What the fuck are you even talking about?

[Kaijyuu]

How the fuck can we allow China, the worlds most populous police state, to wage an economic war against us?

What the fuck are you even talking about?

Anyway, chinese censorship is silly and extremely out of hand. That's... all there is to say on the matter, pretty much.

[Pickle Girl Fanboy]

This is your brain on alcohol.

Any questions?

[fftrdx]

I love your avatar.
(albeit its one sided as of yet)

[Pickle Girl Fanboy]

There are a lot of weird things here in Oklahoma.

The roads in through town are concrete.  Not highway off-ramp concrete, but more like every eighteen foot long slab of concrete is at least 2 inches higher or lower than it's neighbors concrete.  The roads down here are worse than Amish roads in rural Ohio after a six month winter of constant freezing and thawing.  My car is a 1987 Toyota Corolla - a vehicle with less than 10 inches of air between ground and undercarrige.  Naturally, I'm a little pissed off about this.

But that's not the really weird part.

The really weird part is the traffic patterns.  Every weekday, from about 7:00 AM until 9:30 PM, the traffic is as heavy as rush hour in downtown Akron.  Not a big deal, but still a pain in the ass when everyone either:
A: Drives at 3/5 the speed limit and stops the millisecond anyone twitches their foot on the accelerator, even - especially - if they're in an intersection,
B: Drives without even a nodding acquaintance of the barest minimum of safety precautions.  Like signaling before turning or merging, turning on your headlights at night, and driving within 95% and 120% of the speed limit.

That's not the weird part.  The weird part is, even though there's an Indian casino in town, THERE IS NO TRAFFIC ON NIGHTS AND WEEKENDS!  NOTHING!  I don't know how many times I pulled out of Wal-Mart with a armload of pizzas in the passenger seat and found myself in the Twilight Zone.

So, last night I found myself exiled to the Abyss with my load of orange juice and boneless chicken breast when, lo and behold, a virtual caravan (three cars) should appear before me.  Now I am not normally an adventurous man.  However, three months of listening to my dad sing through the laundry room wall - my room for the winter - has changed me.

I followed these caravaners until they pulled into a driveway.  At the end of a driveway stood a house, lit up, music pouring out the windows.  I passed it, then turned back and pulled in.  I walked up to the porch - it was 70 degrees here in Oklahoma last night - and greeted the people sitting there.  We conversed, I explained, and I was invited inside.

More weirdness.  There was a veritable rainbow of skin tones - pink, freckled, pale, cream, honey, coffee au lait, redish-brown, brownish-red, milk chocolate, and dark chocolate - but no one was yelling.  No one was throwing down.  No one was keeping it real.

Okay, so we're a little behind the curve in Ohio when it comes to slang.  Big deal.

Now I am not a prejudiced man; I hate everyone equally.  However, I couldn't help but notice that most everyone down here - whatever their skin color, gender, or apparent sexual orientation - is unassuming, unjudgemental, and fair.

As soon as this was revealed to me, I retreated to the kitchen.  Surely someone with my utter lack of social niceties can't function among these seemingly normal human beings.  As I stood and worried, an angel descended from on high, beer in hand, and appeared before me.  She was perfect in all ways.  Furiously burning auburn curls clung to her head.  A pair of eyes like green materia orbs swirled and flashed, the Mako in them perhaps reacting to my emotional state.  Her cheekbones, tanned and gently freckled, were too perfectly colored to be make up.  Perfect lips.  White, even teeth.  A chin like something carved from marble.

I dropped to my knees and said, "I have been looking for you my entire life.  The moment I was born, my soul cried out for you.  Your perfect form and perfect essence deny the injustice and cruelty of the world outside this little sphere where you and I now stand.  You are a dream made real.  When most men meet their goddess, they chain her to a pedestal on Mount Olympus, where they may safely leave her without worrying that another may come and steal her, but I will not allow that.  I know, you see, that a Goddess wants what every woman wants:  she wants to run.  She wants to drive.  She wants to take a leap off a cliff and, as she falls, sprout wings and soar into the night sky.  She wants to join her Mother and Sisters and Daughters - Diana, the Moon, the Comets and Stars, the Meteors, the Aurora - and fly with them across this world and many others."

"I will not chain you.  I will not hold you back.  If you do not love me, I will not hold it against you.  But please, please, take me with you.  Let me run with you, let me drive with you, let me fly with you.  I know that you can kill me by loving me as easily as you can by hating me - maybe more easily - but I die every time you smile anyways, and to die in your love is better than to live a thousand lifetimes being loved by the kindest, most beautiful women on the planet."

That's what I said, but on it's way out my mouth it was routed through my testicles and it came out as, "Uh, hey!  What's up?"

She smiled (I am dying and I love it) and replied, "Oh not much.  Are you here with Emily?"

"Hmm, uh, no.  I don't know any Emilys.  Actually, I just wandered in here looking for something to do."

"Shit.  She was supposed to be here with the Vicodin an hour ago..."

"Oh."

"Well, that's cool."

A man, or, more likely, a pink orc, sporting a lip-full of Skoal and nursing a beer, appeared behind the Goddess.  His arm, tattooed, with a fresh sunburn and strange little pockmarks, indicating a man who welds without gloves, snaked across her waist.

She jumped, noticed it was him, and then turned her head around and kissed him as his hands crawled up her body and cupped her breasts.

When they were finished, he noticed me and smiled, revealing more gaps than teeth.  He nodded to me and said, "How's it going?"

"Not well," I said, "I need to get drunk."

He cackled and said, "You came to the right place!"

He turned to his right and got a beer out of the fridge as the Goddess nodded to me and said, "Fuck yeah!"

I took the beer with one hand and shook his hand with the other.  "What's your name?" he enquired.

I knew this one.  I smiled and prepared my favorite alias, "Tyler.  Tyler Durden."

An aside to the reader:
I have more alts than Magitek; an intelligent policy when you're as much of a loser as I am.
"What?  I don't know you!  No, my name's -----, not Tyler.  Here, take a look at my drivers licence.  I'm not Tyler.
...
"It's okay man.  I always run into people thinking I'm this Tyler guy.  I'd really like to know who he was, so I wouldn't have to deal with his shit."
Call it what you want, it's saved me from a lot of embaressment and, on one occasion, a felony moving vehicle charge.
[/Aside]

I let go of his hand and turned to the Goddess.  She took my hand and said, "Jenna."

I nodded, "Tyler."

We stood for a moment.  They looked at each other.  Her hand found the side of his torso and lingered there.

I said, "Well fuck, I'm gonna get shitfaced!"

****

I don't remember getting into my car.  I do remember driving home.  Drunk.  Wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.  Though the moment I became self aware and said, "Fuck, I'm drunk driving," or something of the sort and swerved and almost killed a mailbox wasn't that easy to take.

I got home at twenty minutes to four.  I went into the laundry room, turned off the computer, and laid down on my cot.

Hours passed.  I think I tried to whack off, but alas, I spent the remainder of the morning with my sometime acquaintance, Sir John Whiskeydick, Earl of Limpnoodlestown.

Sometime around 9:00 I was sober enough that I wanted to do something besides enjoy my melancholy booziness, so I took my bike from the toolshed and pedaled to the local library.  I wasn't going to go drunk driving again if I could help it.  Once at the library, I put my hand in my back pocket, felt for my wallet, and then cycled home.  I picked up my wallet and rode back to the library.

Once inside, I logged on a computer and commenced surfing.  I checked my email, ffhacktics.com, facebook, and I ended up on Yahoo trying to search for pron on the sly.  In the midst of my Backspacing, I looked up and noticed a Yahoo news story which interested me.  Something about sea slugs.  I clicked on the story and read up on these sea slugs.

Turns out there's a variety of sea slug that can steal chunks of DNA from it's food and pass it on to it's young.  Weird.

I continued perusing Yahoo news, until I came to an article about China and Avatar.  Say what you will about Avatar being a multi-million dollar stinkfest with all the creativity of Fern Gully, but that man made Terminator.  He is a national resource, and must be protected.

So I thought at the time.  After a few minutes of glowering at the moniter, the haze cleared enough for me to... think?  I had to do something.  I had to get the word out.  I had to protect my fellow Americans from those mobs of baying Han teenagers.  I looked at Internet Explorer to decide where to begin the revenge against the assault on my sovereignty.  FFHacktics was open in the first tab.

I clicked the tab.  I was still logged in.

Jackpot!

I will tell my brethren of this assault on the sanctity of our nations humble corporate media monoliths, and together, in true Anonymous fashion, we will take back the internets from the Slanties.

Ching chong ding dong wadda wadda GONG!

I copied the link... fuck, the link won't fit.  No worries.
I copied the story, pasted it on a New Topic...
Better put a spoiler in there.  Save space, you know.
I hit submit - or does ffhacktics say post - and then cursed loud enough for mustachioed old woman sitting across from me to hear me and glare at me.
I forgot to tell the story, the true story of the attack on our nation!
I scrolled to the bottom of my topic and clicked "Reply"
I typed the reasons for this topic.  The reasons why we should rise up, and defend our homeland against the yellow, soulless invaders.
I paused.  "Shouldn't I just edit my first post?"
...
I hesitated.
...
I shrugged.  "Doesn't matter.  They will understand."
I clicked post, reread my glorious prose, then logged out and went home.

****

The next morning, I drove to the library and logged on to a computer.  I checked my email.  I checked facebook.  I checked ffhacktics.  I - what the fuck?  I wrote this shit?

My hands dropped from the keyboard.  I hung my head in shame.  Tears shimmered in my eyes.

I have commited a grevious social blunder, and for this, I deserve to die.

I clicked away from the offending topic.  I stood up to leave, then sat back down.

I have sinned against my fellow man.  I have defiled the Shrine of Our Lord and Savior, Zodiac, and his son Saint Ajora.  There can be no forgiveness for this, but perhaps I can ease my mind by making a contribution, something, anything to offset the horrible pile of shit I shat all over the internet.

I vaguely remember posting something in the hacking section, and I think I made a job class suggestion, something about balls.

Then I finished my buisness on the internet and went home.

****

This is the last F5 I will see in this life.  By the time you finish reading this post, I will have gone from this world.

I will not apologize, but neither will I make excuses.  I failed you, ffhacktics, and the price of failure is death.

Goodbye ffhacktics.  During our time together, we stalked trolls.  We made fun of Dome.  We managed to have a serious conversation once in a while.  But most important of all, we haxxored fft.

We haxxored fft.

And that is all that matters.

Signed,
Pickle Girl Fanboy

PS.  Pickle Chan, please forgive me!

[philsov]

<3 Fern Gully

[Dokurider]

cool story dawg

[VampragonLord]

Intriguing tale, comrade.

[Samuraiblackbelt]

A pair of eyes like green materia orbs swirled and flashed, the Mako in them perhaps reacting to my emotional state.

HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA you nerd

[Kaijyuu]

[SilvasRuin]

Interesting customized shaggy dog story but... why isn't this in spam?

[Pickle Girl Fanboy]

Interesting customized shaggy dog story but... why isn't this in spam?

To spam, or not to spam.

That is the question.

[Macros86]

I stopped reading when your story turned into Rosetta Stoned by Tool.
Sure it got more weird afterwards.

[raulista]

spam zz