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Topics - Bastard Poetry

Pages: [1] 2
The Lounge / Solo Thief Challenge (and my other ongoing LPs)
« on: November 21, 2011, 07:00:55 PM »
Hello, my old friends - I'm here to plug my LPs!

I've started a fully recorded Thief SSCC. By "fully recorded," I mean that I'm recording all successes, failures and most out-of-battle stuff. And by "most" I mean formation screen stuff and shopping.. I'm not recording cutscenes for the most part.

And by "cutscenes" I mean those story things.

And by "things" I mean stuff.

Thief SSCC playlist:

I'm also doing the SkyBlock 2.0 Hardcore Challenge in Minecraft:

And a "magic only" challenge in Terraria:

Enjoy! The bulk of the discussions regarding the Thief SSCC are happening on the GF board, but I'll keep an eye on this thread as well.

The Lounge / The Haxtun Institute of Technology
« on: October 14, 2011, 06:01:49 AM »

It's been so long since I've spent any real amount of time at FFH. There are so many new people and projects!

However, I'm stopping by to spread some exciting news to some of my old friends here. It's not FFT-related, and I still don't foresee having enough spare time in my life to do anything FFT-related for a long time yet, but there are some people around here who appreciated a lot of the little projects I did.

This is an upcoming short film that my friends and I have made.

It stars my wife and I, primarily, and is based on an article I wrote about 7 years ago.


The screening party will be sometime next month, and I intend to set up some kind of live-streaming, so that many of my online friends can join in on the fun. Let me know if any of you are interested!

The Lounge / Good morning or whatever
« on: May 13, 2011, 07:36:57 PM »
This is your imaginary Internet friend, Bastard Poetry.

But you can call me Dr. Bastard Poetry.

The Lounge / Zodiac sign?
« on: August 15, 2010, 12:13:58 PM »
I'm curious. Zodiac, what do those characters on your avatar stand for?

On a /note, I'm a fucking Leo!

The Lounge / What are you watching?
« on: August 10, 2010, 09:17:29 PM »


My score: 8/10 - Not as good as The Prestige, Memento or Batman Begins, but definitely better than The Dark Knight.


Good Night, and Good Luck.

Written, directed and shot with erratic flair. It's almost as if Clooney did a Mad Men marathon while drinking himself into oblivion, then woke up to a morning broadcast of His Girl Friday on TCM, flipped the channel to find the Smurfs on some stupid fucking channel (why would he flip away from His Girl Friday!?) and thought, 'Eureka! Commies! I'll do a movie about the journalist who dared to attack Wisconsin Sen. McCarthy's unconstitutional methods during the red scare!" Well played, George, with guys like Straitharn delivering the coolest fucking speeches over the CBS airwaves, evar, but you need to know that even--EVEN--in the fast-paced journalist world, the characters of His Girl Friday at least--AT LEAST--waited until one character finished speaking a line before the next character immediately started sputtering rapid-fire words as though the first person never existed. Not always.. but enough.

My score: 5/10 - Educational, with a neat overall message. Needed more drama, or tension, or sex, or something. I felt like I was really just hopping back in time to watch CBS in the 50s.

Star Trek [2009]

(Kirk runs from the giant ice-crab monster thing)
Kevin: "No, no.. He's doing it wrong! Shatner would have slept with the thing twice by now!"

(Romulan guard falls to his death)
Mike: "Tell my bald wife and my bald kids how baalld I thiink theey aaaaaarrrrrrrreeeee.."

My score: 7/10 - Not one of the best Riffs, because the movie is actually decent enough to create this sense of frustration in you as the guys are riffing--"Shh! Shh! Not now, guys! I'm trying to hear what Spock's dad is saying!" I originally gave this a 3/10 score because it was really bad the first time, but a second viewing (third viewing of Star Trek altogether) allowed me to relax and enjoy the riffs, which were surprisingly very decent.


Mad Men - Don and Lane out on the town = unexpected WIN of epic proportions.
Burn Notice - Can't wait to get this whole Jesse thing taken care of so he can move on to wherever the script-writers intend to send him.
Psych - "Who says work has to be fun?" - "Uh, Ron Jeremy, for starters."

Spam / Published Author!
« on: May 12, 2010, 09:02:18 AM »
It's only a matter of time now, my friends.

Spam / You have to know how to rock
« on: January 21, 2010, 06:24:24 AM »

Spam / Happy Birthday TO THE GROUND
« on: November 10, 2009, 01:13:32 AM »

Spam / Ultraviolence
« on: October 12, 2009, 10:49:45 PM »
There was me, that is BP, and my three droogs, that is Chaumel, Hussy, and Voldemort, Voldemort being really swell, and we sat in the Goland Milkbar making up our rassoodocks what to do with the evening, a flip dark chill winter bastard though dry. The Goland Milkbar was a milk-plus mesto, and you may, O my brother, have forgotten what these mestos were like things changing so skorry these days and everybody very quick to forget, bar rumours not being heard much neither. Well, what they sold there was milk plus something else. They had no license for selling liquor, but there was no law yet against prodding some of the new veshches which they would put into the old moloko, so you could peet it with vellocet or synthemesc or drencrom or one or two other veshches which would give you a nice quiet horrorshow fifteen minutes admiring Ajora And All His Zodiac Braves in your left shoe with lights bursting all over your mozg. Or you could peet it with knives in it, as we use to say, and this would sharpen you up and make you ready for a bit of dirty twenty-to-one, and that was what we were peeting this evening I'm starting off the story with.

Bugs and Suggestions / Link Error
« on: August 02, 2009, 10:19:14 PM »
Hey Zodiac, on the main FFH homepage, the "Sprites" link, which normally goes to a list of the Vanilla character list (ie not custom sprites) currently goes to the "Enter Nickname" screen for Chat.

It shows that the link is this:

But it goes to this link anyways:

I tried manually typing out the spr url, but it still goes to the chat page.

The Lounge / CoK Fanart
« on: August 02, 2009, 06:15:13 AM »
Hey FFHians,

Dukki Boi recently submitted some artwork for the Chronicles of Kanbabrif and I have posted them on the Junk Offerings section of m'ebsite! I don't know if he'll appreciate this or not, but I couldn't resist showing them off.

Spam / Hamwitch didn't think Dome could defeat Reis
« on: July 23, 2009, 07:56:35 AM »
But he can!  <--SPOILER! ... c=50574622

PS I love completeboy

Spam / Craigslist Ads Worth Reading
« on: July 15, 2009, 02:52:12 AM »

Spam / Spam Moderator Vote: Rednanaki
« on: June 28, 2009, 05:22:44 AM »
I vote for Rednanaki. S/he started an account on Oct 1 2007, which means s/he knows this site better than most. In fact, s/he was the 20th member to join! Fucking sweet, if you ask me.

But do you know the best part?

Rednanaki only has 0 post counts. That means s/he is best suited to be moderator for the Spam forum.

I don't know about you, but I'd FUCKING HATE to see someone who actually POSTS anything being the moderator of a section like Spam.

Not Dome is a douche.

My name is Bastard Poetry and I approve this topic.

The Lounge / The Muse of Oblivion
« on: June 18, 2009, 06:57:31 PM »
Hey guys, I've returned to share some exciting news with my old friends here:

The Muse of Oblivion is up and running now!

This is my website, as many of you may know, and I have been working on it for the last few months now. I had to refresh myself on some basic HTML knowledge, and I spent some time dabbling with Flash (only to drop it in favor of a simpler design for the time being, since it's going to take a lot more time to figure that shit out). And I am pleased to present you guys with the GRAND UNVEILING today.

Anyways, the site is skeletal right now; I haven't had much time to write many articles yet, and I still have a bit of work to do in some sections, but the basic foundation has been established. Now that I have it set up, I can start getting to work on the many projects I've been dreaming up lately!

I'm starting a new job tomorrow, and after the 4 weeks of training, I'm almost certain I'll have internet access to use between my calls. I intend to use that down time to write write WRITE, because the whole purpose of The Muse of Oblivion is the same as the whole purpose of my previous websites: my WRITING!

That's not all, though. I have opened a forum for The Muse as well, and it will be a place for other writers, artists, musicians, and feedback-providers to share and discuss their own works. Someday, the most successful and talented artists may get their own section of The Muse! As it currently stands, I have given a section to The Gatekeeper, since she and I go way back, and she is a phenomenal comedic writer (albeit creepy as fuck).

ALSO, as I'm sure many of you were waiting to hear.. The Chronicles of Kanbabrif is back in production! Cheetah and I have already started knocking our heads together, and we're picking up right where we left off! The Muse of Oblivion has an entire section devoted to the series, and the forum has plenty of discussion topics for it as well. Fans of the series are more than welcome to join us there!

FINALLY, a message for Zodiac:

I have included a banner for FFH on the main index for the Chronicles, since the series wouldn't be what it is without your amazing site, tools, knowledge and people. I have also included your review of "The Villain of Ivalice" in the Feedback section, and your "Kanbabrif The Frog Emperor" image in the Junk: Fanart section. You are credited for these things, of course, and you are free to ask me to remove them at any time if you so choose. However, I was kinda hoping you'd allow me to put your contributions to the series as the first submissions to the fan sections.  :)


The Lounge / Goodbye
« on: April 02, 2009, 08:35:01 AM »
Believe it or not, I've only been on the internet for approximately two years. Most of my adult life has been spent in books, music and work, and I'm beginning to realize that my recent addiction to the internet is holding me back from accomplishing a lot of my goals--career, academic, literary and social. I don't think that making the online friends I've made, or creating the entertainment I've shared, has been a mistake, by any stretch, and I certainly don't intend to disappear forever. However, I've been battling some severe health issues for the last 7-8 years, and I presently find myself dealing with many of the issues I had neglected to face in all that time. Things are at their worst now, and every aspect of my life is falling apart in the periphery--financial issues and etcetera.

After giving it long consideration, I have come to the conclusion that my own apathy--my exceedingly exhausted and battered will--has, at worst, caused a lot of my problems and, at best, enhanced them further. I find myself desperate to count the ticks on the classroom clock or the digital blinks of the timecard machine at work, so I can rush home as quickly as possible to log onto various forums and find trivial things to focus on, just so I don't have to focus on my real problems. In all fairness, it isn't really the internet that's the problem. If I didn't have forums and an online social network to lose myself in at the end of the day, I'd find something else to occupy my attention with--something that doesn't require true risk or conviction.. like video games. Except that, on both accounts, I can't simply enjoy these things on a casual basis; I become obsessive, as a way to secure myself from various harms. My wife has even, on occasion, pointed out that I don't just zone out to a glowing screen; I disappear entirely.

I have made a turning point in my life recently, and I am resolved to climb out of this rut and succeed in my aspirations. To do this, I need to put away the distractions I regularly lose myself in and focus on reclaiming my principles. So, I am taking a leave of absence from the forums.

I will remain in contact with Cheetah, through email, so we can continue our work on Part II of the Chronicles. The story we're developing is slowly turning into something phenomenal (the plotlines I've dreamt up for Parts IV-VI, when we someday get to them, are beginning to rival the plotlines of various novels that I've read, or intend to write). And all of you know how important this project is to me, personally. It definitely falls into my "literary goals" category these days.

I will certainly return when we finish it; though it won't be with Part II only. I have a few other projects I'm developing on the side.

My best hope is that the next few months will be productive, in every way.

Take care, everyone.

The Lounge / Youtube is randomly upside down today
« on: April 01, 2009, 09:58:53 PM »
Videos, comments, text, links.. everything.

That's their idea of an April Fool's Joke.

At first, I thought MoogleBoss had figured out a way to hack youtube!

So I guess I sorta fell for it.

Spam / The Chronicles of Kanbabrif - Part II EXCLUSIVE SNEAK PEEK!
« on: March 31, 2009, 02:19:44 AM »
Not for the faint of heart!

Spam / Christmas Dinner: BP vs ?? (Who's next?)
« on: March 30, 2009, 04:44:13 PM »
EDIT: Changed topic title, since it has a broader range of meanings in its simplistic ambiguity. BP vs NOLANRYANFHODHSK, BP vs Voldemort, etc.

EDIT2: Changed topic title again, since Asmo hit the nail on the head in his interpretation of this thread. I'm obviously drunk on eggnog and looking for blood (to put in m'eggnog). BRING IT!

Comment I received on part 2/3 of The Villain of Ivalice on Youtube:

"shit hes fuck going with monks to kill strong guy"

Betta watch out, Kanbabrif.

Shit hes fuck going with monks.

The Lounge / Poetry and Music
« on: March 12, 2009, 09:48:43 PM »
Music or text, your choice; all in all, I want some fucking poetry.


I'll start with Coil. I've gone on lengthy rants about Coil before, as I consider about 90% of their music to be complete, utter shit. However, that remaining 10% has some of the most haunting and beautiful tracks I've ever heard in my life. Johnn Balance focused a lot of his energies on the moment of death, and embraced a lot of evils within the human soul. After a several-month-long bout with alcoholism and despair, he awoke one morning with a determination to clean up his life and, in a tragic accident, slipped and broke his neck. After all the years of waxing poetically about death, in ways that were chilling without being emo, he finally met his own end, and I can only hope his soul found peace with whatever truths he discovered.

Coil - Rosa Decidua

Coil - Christmas is Now Drawing Near

Johnny Cash and Nick Cave are, in my opinion, two of the greatest musical poets of our lifetime. I'll leave Johnny Cash to his well-founded reputation. However, Nick Cave definitely deserves some recognition in this thread.

Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - Red Right Hand ... 5573461369

Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - The Mercy Seat

Nick Cave & Kylie Minogue - Where the Wild Roses Grow


I don't have much time left, I have to go to work. So I'll post three of my favorite poems by my absolute favorite poet EVAR, and I'll go into detail about him and his work later.


Leda and the Swan

            A sudden blow: the great wings beating still
            Above the staggering girl, her thighs caressed
            By the dark webs, her nape caught in his bill,
            He holds her helpless breast upon his breast.

            How can those terrified vague fingers push
            The feathered glory from her loosening thighs?
            And how can body, laid in that white rush,
            But feel the strange heart beating where it lies?

            A shudder in the loins engenders there
            The broken wall, the burning roof and tower
            And Agamemnon dead.
                                                    Being so caught up,
            So mastered by the brute blood of the air,
            Did she put on his knowledge with his power
            Before the indifferent beak could let her drop?

The Second Coming

    Turning and turning in the widening gyre
    The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
    Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
    Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
    The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
    The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
    The best lack all conviction, while the worst
    Are full of passionate intensity.

    Surely some revelation is at hand;
    Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
    The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
    When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
    Troubles my sight: a waste of desert sand;
    A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
    A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
    Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
    Wind shadows of the indignant desert birds.
    The darkness drops again but now I know
    That twenty centuries of stony sleep
    Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
    And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
    Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

Sailing to Byzantium

That is no country for old men. The young
In one another's arms, birds in the trees
- Those dying generations - at their song,
The salmon-falls, the mackerel-crowded seas,
Fish, flesh, or fowl, commend all summer long
Whatever is begotten, born, and dies.
Caught in that sensual music all neglect
Monuments of unageing intellect.

An aged man is but a paltry thing,
A tattered coat upon a stick, unless
Soul clap its hands and sing, and louder sing
For every tatter in its mortal dress,
Nor is there singing school but studying
Monuments of its own magnificence;
And therefore I have sailed the seas and come
To the holy city of Byzantium.

O sages standing in God's holy fire
As in the gold mosaic of a wall,
Come from the holy fire, perne in a gyre,
And be the singing-masters of my soul.
Consume my heart away; sick with desire
And fastened to a dying animal
It knows not what it is; and gather me
Into the artifice of eternity.

Once out of nature I shall never take
My bodily form from any natural thing,
But such a form as Grecian goldsmiths make
Of hammered gold and gold enamelling
To keep a drowsy Emperor awake;
Or set upon a golden bough to sing
To lords and ladies of Byzantium
Of what is past, or passing, or to come.

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