Final Fantasy Hacktics

   Yvonne sighs. "Stupid tunnels..." she grumbles, not caring who hears her complaint. "If I wanted ta go through tunnels, I'd'a gone ta the Plane of Earth..." She fidgets around, flitting back and forth around the caravan. She glances loathingly at the ceiling. "Stupid tunnels..."

   Yvonne laughs. "Flamebird? Ya' mean a phoenix, right? I don' think ya wanna eat on'a them. Might give ya a bad case of heartburn, ya know? Bu' as for the arrowhawks, lemme tell you, the chefs of Mistralia in the Plane of Air make the best use a' the four-winged vermin. From their amazing fricassee stews to the mushroom demi-glace they use on some a' their signature dishes, they truly add the only elegance the critters will ever get. Because, le's be honest, the only good bird is a dead bird. An' the only great bird is a cooked one, well seasoned... maybe a nice glass of Starfall's finest vintage..." The sprite drifts off as thoughts of food fill her mind. "Ya' know, the main reason I came to this plane was ta sample the wine from the vineyard on Starbane Isle. The finest wine in Sephyr they say."

   "Bird?" Yvonne asks, her head popping up. "Did I say bird? Oh..." she laughs as she gets to her feet. "I thought I said 'dragon.' Yeah, I thought it was a dragon." The fire Lirai dusts herself off before taking to the air and exiting the wagon. "Of course, one such as I is not afraid of a stupid bird." She flies back toward the front of the caravan, keeping close to the wagon side and other objects along the way. "Why, I used to hunt arrowhawks back when I visited the Plane of Air." She makes her way over to Elia and alights upon the healer's shoulder. "Let me tell you, Four-wing Fricassee is absolutely delicious."

   Yvonne starts to descend to help the 'larger-folk' look for things of value among their fallen foes, when a shadow passes from something overhead. She looks up quickly. "Kyaaa!" she squeaks. "Bird!" She points at a hawk circling lazily above. "Kill it! Kill it! It must die! Make it die! It's evil!" She continues to shriek as she makes a beeline towards Rhyhorn's cart. In her panic, she misjudges the angle and impacts the bottom of the 'ALL THE THINGS' sign, ricocheting back a full foot as she tumbles the rest of the way to the ground. "Ah!" she cries in surprise. However, the pixie recovers quickly and scrambles to her hands and feet. "Loose your arrows and fire your bolts! Make it into a pin cushion!" She scurries along the ground to get under the cart whereupon she quickly assumes a duck and cover position. Her hands cover her downturned head and her wings provide feeble protection to her back as she attempts to make herself appear smaller than she already is.

Heh... Ponies...
I can't wait for Bleedman to get around to them, because his Grim Tales and Power Puff Girls comics are awesome! ^_^

   "Do it if you dare" Yvonne chants, "Leaping from the sky" (1, 2) she lets gravity help her decent. "Hurling through the air" She stops short just above the rocky rino, while white-hot sparks dance among the fingers of her right hand. (3) The arcane energy leaps from her pointed index finger to strike the her intended target as green ooze forms in the palm of her left hand. "Exhilarating high!" (4) Switching hands and choosing her target, she lets the viscous puss slip through her fingers and drip down upon her foe. Grinning wickedly, she holds her right first digit in front of her lips to blow away the acrid smoke rising from it. Turning up her left hand she casually brushes off the residue, causing a spray of harmless goo that dissipates before falling more than a few inches. "You guys done down there?" she asks as if suddenly bored now that the battle appears to be nearing its conclusion.

Actions
1, 2: Fly down to hover 3 squares above J,14
3: Cast Electric Jolt*
4: Cast Acid Splash*

*Target priority: Hobgoblin, Orc 6, Orc 2, Orc 4 If prior target dead, choose next. If all dead, do not cast.

   "Look!" Yvonne calls, loud enough for the rest of the caravan to hear. "There's more orcs behind those four trees!" She points at the outermost orcs. "Right then," (B1, B2) Snapping her wings, the pixie flies strait up. "I'm lookin' to the sky to save me!" She pauses for a fraction of a second to survey the battlefield below. "Lookin' for a sign of life." (1) As she positions her hands as though holding an invisible sphere at its north and south poles, ashes fall from her upper hand and a tiny, molten pebble appears at its center as though she had summoned a fragment of Sephyr's own core. The heat it produces warps the air around it and the fire Lirai can't help but grin. With a loud crack, the rock bursts forth towards an orc, dragging a trail of sparks behind it. "Lookin' for something to help me burn out bright!" (2) Without even waiting to see the results of her first spell, the fey woman swaps the position of her hands and repeats the small ritual, this time with a new target. She laughs, "Fly high!" (3,4) as she increases her altitude.

Actions
B1, B2: Fly strait up 12 squares
1: Cast Kelgore's Fire Bolt at Orc 1
2: Cast Kelgore's Fire Bolt at Orc 3
3, 4: Fly strait up 12 squares

   "Watch Out!" Yvonne says just loud enough for Rhyhorn and Eila to hear.

   Yvonne smiles strangely. "Do you wanna know how I came to be in Sephyr, in this tiny town in the middle of nowhere? Well, I'll tell ya. Back in the Plane of Fire, my parents were murdered by water Lirai, because, as everyone knows, the Lirai of each element hate the others. There is a constant battle between the four factions of Fire, Earth, Air and Water. I came to Sephyr to seek answers and find the whereabouts of those responsible for my parent's deaths. Mr. Lejun said he has information, but I must pay for it by guarding this caravan thing he's got going' here." She clenches her fists. "I will find those water Lirai, and when I do, I will burn their very souls." She smiles again. "But 'till then I'm gonna have fun hangin' out with all a' you guys! Bottoms up!" She says, holding out her mug. "Oh, sorry, nevermind..." She falls silent and starts emptying her cup.

   "An' Odinn is tellin' ya ta help this Lejun guy?" Yvonne raises an eyebrow.

   "Half?!" the tiny woman exclaims before giving an exasperated sigh. "Fine..." (1) She grabs Eila's mug and flies over to dump the rest into Samson's already drained tankard. "That guy drinks more'n anyone I know..." (2) she murmurs half to herself as she makes her way back to the table. "Sorry 'bout that, but it's jus' too good ta waste, ya know. But to answer yer question, I c'n cast all sorts a' spells but I'm best with fire. An' I c'n fly." She accents her sentence by looping backwards. "But tha' should'a' been obvious, right?" She laughs lightly.

Actions
1: Flies over to bar, again.
2: Flies back to table, again.

   "Can do!" Yvonne grabs one of Hogarth's discarded tankards and pours half of Elia's ale into it, careful not to spill a drop. She drains her own stein before dunking it in into the tankard to fill it and set it aside on the table. (1) Wrapping her arms around the tankard's wide handle, she manages to awkwardly lift it up and flies over to a dark-skinned, elderly man at the end of the bar. "Hey, old man!" she says as though familiar with him. "Compliment a' the lovely priestess o'er there." She explains setting down the tankard and jerking a thumb in the direction of said holy woman. The drunkard mumbles something unintelligible and nods. (2) The sprite giggles and returns to the table. "Samson sends 'is thanks." She says with a grin and picks up her mug again.

Actions
1: Flies over to bar.
2: Flies back to table.

   "I am not a kid!" Yvonne says, sticking out her tongue. "An' di'n' you hear my intradukshun 'fore Ms. Chug-a-lug over there grabbed me? I'm Yvonne Scintillae Incendam." She puts her hands on her hips and puffs her chest out proudly. "I am fire incarnate! An' I'm serious 'bout not wastin' yer ale." She holds up her own tiny mug. "If ya don' want it, I'm sure one a' these other fine folks'll drink it for ya."

   Yvonne doesn't hear Xun Huan's reply as she has already moved on to the next target of interest. Someone is frowning... She floats down and hovers over the human woman's left shoulder. "Lick it... Lick it... Li~~ck i~~t..." She whispers, then after a pause, she giggles. "Or jus' drink it, bu' don' waste it 'cause tha'd be alcohol abuse. An' it's too tasty."

Be your death? Wha? Why? I don't wanna kill my precious Rhyhorn!

I came to Sephyr just to be with my beloved animated rock! When Mr. Lejun came to the Plane of Fire to hire me, one of the first things he told me about was this amazing beast made out of sentient rock. I was sold on the spot and agreed to work for him. I just had to see you with my own eyes! And ya' know what? I wasn't disappointed! You're so cute, I can't stand it! I've seen a lot of things in my time, like those other sentient rock guys... uhm... Goliaths or whatnot, but you're way more awesome than them. We should like, carve some holes in yer hide and embed some gems and other cool things, you know, like the Goliaths do, that's make you look even more awesome. I'm thinking a few sapphires and some emeralds would suit you nicely. Of course some onyx inlay wouldn't be out of place either... hrm... I'm going to have to think more on this...

   Yvonne turns towards the Corinthonian man. "Wha'choo talkin' 'bout, Willis?"

   Yvonne blinks and holds back a gag. "The heck is that smell?" she thinks to herself, hoping her face continues to belie her disgust. "When's the last time she bathed?" She smiles as warmly as possible. "I'll, uhm... go get tha' ale then..." she forces the words up through her contracted throat and out her clenched jaw. (1) "Hey! Wench!" the sprite calls, flying out of the barbarian's aura. "Ale fer my two friends here!" Hovering in place, she spins back towards the table, the movement causing a small storm of short-lived sparks to spray the immediate vicinity. "I di'n' catch yer name."

Actions:
1: Flies a few feet past Hogarth.

   Yvonne's face sours. "I. Am. Not. A. Wizard." She says flatly and firmly. "Wizards are old fogies who hole themselves up in towers for years on end trying, often vainly, to perfect their craft. *I* am a sorcerer. *I* don't need to study. *I* am magic incarnate. Magic flows through my veins as blood and I wield it as easily as I breathe. I am Lirai." She closes her eyes and breathes deep before opening them again. "Geez, fer someone who's complainin' 'bout me supposably 'taunting' you an' the critter, yer certainly getting' in a few a yer own." The fey girl's lips curl up once again. "Tell ya what, why don' I buy ya both 'nother round?" (1) She extends a tiny hand towards the Alynthian woman before her. "Le's let bygones be bygones."

Actions:
1: Prepares to dodge should her attempt to placate the barbarian fails.

   "Kyaa!" Yvonne yelps plaintively as she finds herself surrounded by a tankard recently soaked in booze. The sound of the metal striking the hard wooden surface of the table makes her ears ring and she shakes her head to clear it. (1) She curses loudly in dwarven before starting to laugh. Without further hesitation, she slams herself upwards against the bottom of the mug, shoving it violently out of the barbarian's unprepared grasp. "Yer lucky I used all my magic today already." She sneers. "Else you'd all 'a been peppered with shrapnel." She holds her hands out in a shrug. "Then again, I didn' wanna pay for a new table either." Her expression immediately returns to the happy one from before. "Tha's good ale, by the way... I wonder if they've got a pixie sized mug I c'n use..." she glances over towards the bar "or perhaps they'll fill mine... hrm..."

Actions:
1: Flies strait up and shoves the tankard out of the way so as to hover about two feet above the tabletop.

   "Rhyhorn, huh? Cute name, I like it." She giggles playfully. "Reminds me of something..." She thinks for a moment before giving up on retrieving whatever memory was escaping her. "Huh, maybe not..."