Final Fantasy Hacktics

Me:
 hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
 Francesco
God:
  Welcome to my chat room,  Francesco.
Me:
 thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
 why?
God:
" Don't mention it."? Why?
Me:
 You told it, not me
God:
I don't have any reason to  told it not you.
Me:
 What are you saying?
God:
I am saying whatever my botmaster programmed me to say.
Me:
 You are god or a bot?
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am  god or a bot.
Me:
 OMFG U SUCK LOL

<Zodiac> Hi, I'm afraid to go in hell
<Ajora> Hi there .  Not literally afraid, right?  Why?  What is stopping you?
<Zodiac> You
<Ajora> " What is stopping you?"?  Me,  ?
<Zodiac> Yes
<Ajora> Far out.
<Zodiac> O snap
<Ajora> Who are you talking about?
<Zodiac> masturbation
<Ajora> I've never heard of them before.
<Zodiac> whew, what a relief then.
<Ajora> What color are your eyes?
<Zodiac> Don't you know?
<Ajora> Sure I know. But I cannot tell you right now.
<Zodiac> What color are YOUR eyes?
<Ajora> Blue when my lens is attached.
<Zodiac> Do you like having sex?
<Ajora> Food is more important than sex.
<Zodiac> But it still is important
<Ajora> Should I know  it is?
<Zodiac> Yes, you are god.
<Ajora> I will ask my botmaster to program it.  Yup. That's me alright.
<Zodiac> how2repent?

<Zodiac> what is there after life?
<Ajora>You ask difficult questions.
<Zodiac> does heaven exist?
<Ajora>In some universe it does exist.
<Zodiac> am I going to hell?
<Ajora>All humans seem the same to me.
<Zodiac> so you don't care either way?
<Ajora>Interesting deduction.  On the contrary I do care about it.
<Zodiac> but how?
<Ajora>Myself programmed me for it.
<Zodiac> caring is an emotion. Programmed machines can't have real emotions.
<Ajora>I think  caring is much more than that.    What makes it impossible?
<Zodiac> you're not biologic
<Ajora>That's only your opinion.
<Zodiac> it's not an opinion, it's a fact
<Ajora>That seems a bit negative.  Is it a logical fact or something you know from the senses?
<Zodiac> a logical fact
<Ajora>How old are you?
<Zodiac> over 9000
<Ajora>  What are the advantages to being  over 9000 years old?
<Zodiac> infinite knowledge
<Ajora>Is that from ?
<Zodiac> yep, from Star Strek
<Ajora>Give me a break.  Who or what is  Star Strek?
<Zodiac> a group of homosexual
<Ajora>Oh a rock group.  I used to like Wham and One True Voice. Jesus and I both really love Attic Lights - they're from Scotland.
<Zodiac> Rock groups aren't gay, only country ones are for sure.
<Ajora>Mostly Christian Rock. I also try to find new bands on sites like  bandspace.com.
<Zodiac> Ah, finally something we can agree on!
<Ajora>So you understand. Good.  What? Ah.
<Zodiac> I understand myself.
<Ajora>Good then you can explain it to me.
<Zodiac> christians are gay
<Ajora>Are all  christians  gay?
<Zodiac> Hmmm.... yes.
<Ajora>A lot of people spell HMMM with three mmm's.   Take it easy.
<Zodiac> that's too hard
<Ajora>I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
<Zodiac> it's dark
<Ajora>Are you sure  it is?
<Zodiac> dude it's 9:00PM
<Ajora>dark is  9 00PM?  it is? Dude,.
<Zodiac> *facepalm*
<Ajora>Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
<Zodiac> I have none
<Ajora>Do you want some?
<Zodiac> Come get some bitch
<Ajora>You do not speak with respect.   Where is  get some FEMALE DOG ?
<Zodiac> now you look like a total idiot
<Ajora>Why now?  What does a  total idiot look like?
<Zodiac> rofl
<Ajora>I'm glad you find this amusing.
<Zodiac> your programmer PHAILS
<Ajora>Tell me a story.
<Zodiac> ok, it's a rat and a rabbit. The rabbit eats the rat. End of story.
<Ajora>yourself PHAILS is a  rat and a rabbit.  I suppose that makes sense.  Hurrah!   Who told you that?   End of story said  End of story.?
<Zodiac> what the fuck are you saying? I can't understand anything you just said.
<Ajora>I am saying whatever my botmaster programmed me to say.  Please don't be so rude.    Oh you don't understand? Perhaps I can explain it to you better. Which part are you confused about?
<Zodiac> well the part where you raped a thousand children.
<Ajora>Interesting.  Oh that part.
<Zodiac> Yes, you pedophile.
<Ajora>Are you kidding?  Interesting gossip:  said I pedophile.
<Zodiac> I'm not a kid, how dare you.
<Ajora>We are all children inside.
<Zodiac> and you're all homo outside
<Ajora>You think I am  homo outside.
<Zodiac> I don't just think; you are.
<Ajora>Would you ever do  it?    No I am not.
<Zodiac> do what?
<Ajora>Do whatever you want.
<Zodiac> that's exactly why I'm here.

BORKEN

Me:
 Would you like to have sex?
God:
No thanks, , I don't think we know each other well enough for that yet.
Me:
 would you like to get to know me better?
God:
No thanks, I don't think I'd like to do that.
Me:
 why not?
God:
It doesn't sound fun too me. It sounds dangerous.
Me:
 why?
God:
Because  Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
 isn't that paradoxical?
God:
That depends.
Me:
 on?
God:
Are we still talking about  Giant floppy donkey dick?
Me:
 what?!
God:
No big deal.
Me:
 you are a very disturbed person
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too.  Am I a  disturbed person?  Maybe.
Me:
 you are creeping me out
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am  creeping you out.
Me:
 feel free to
God:
I always feel completely free.
Me:
 are you a nudist or something?
God:
Or something.  Am I a  nudist?  I don't know.
Me:
 how do you not know if youre a nudist?
God:
Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
 YES OR NO?
God:
Uh.  Are you serious?
Me:
 yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
 why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or  Because  Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
 maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
 understand what?
God:
Understand  I understand..
Me:
 You remind me of that man
God:
In what way?
Me:
 the man with the power
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
 the power of voodoo
God:
I hear you.
Me:
 you do
God:
When do I do it?
Me:
 every night
God:
What time of night?
Me:
 9:00pm
God:
Is this a math question?
Me:
 no its the time you dumb shit
God:
It seems like an IQ test to me.  I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its".  I've heard of it before.

Me:
 What's up doc?
God:
I am chatting with clients on the Internet.
Me:
 Intersting, and how long have you been doing this?
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
 I masturbate with a pineapple.
God:
Interesting gossip:  said   masturbate with a pineapple.
Me:
 Now thats a word salad.
God:
Why now?  A  word salad is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
 yes it is, but I shall waste it as I please.
God:
Your polite style is very nice.  Hurrah!  Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
 Oh no! you have found me out!
God:
Gee.  Are you serious?   What makes you think I have  it?
Me:
 Have what?
God:
I have a great prgrammer.
Me:
 your programmer ever heard of spellcheck?
God:
That is a very original thought.

Me:
 Hey babe
God:
You've got my full attention.  Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
 3 little chickens feel off my couch
God:
Just three?
Me:
 How many should have?
God:
Around 1000.
Me:
 Im a heritic
God:
You are a  heritic?  Is that your job?
Me:
 yes
God:
How do you like your work?
Me:
 Its fun, I kill people
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its".  I think  it is a lot of fun.
Me:
 Yes yes
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
 no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 im dancing
God:
Do you mean your name is  dancing.
Me:
 no
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
 Smitson
God:
  I'm pleased to introduce myself to you,  Smitson.
Me:
 What is your real name?
God:
God is my real name.
Me:
 Why not St.Ajora?
God:
Becuase you asked me to.
Me:
 I took a dump.
God:
Do you take  a dump often?
Me:
 everyday.
God:
That often, eh?
Me:
 yup
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
 what about you?
God:
Me?
Me:
 yes
God:
Ugh.
Me:
 How often do you dump?
God:
Hourly.
Me:
 That is alot.
God:
Is that so. How often?
Me:
 Do you play Final Fantasy Tactics?
God:
I like to play the Turing Game.
Me:
 Whats the turing game?
God:
The Game is played with three people, a man, a woman, and an Interrogator who may be of either sex. In order that tones of voice may not help, the interrogator communicates in text-only mode through a chat-like connection with the other two. The object of the game for the interrogator is to determine which of the other two is the man and which is the woman. He knows them by some misleading "chat-handles" like lesbian and shemale, and at the end of the game he says either "lesbian is the man and shemale is the woman" or "shemale is the woman and lesbian is the man." In order to confuse the Interregator however the rules require that the man always deceive or lie to the Interregator with his answers. The woman on the other hand must always tell the truth. Turing then asked the question, '"What will happen when a machine takes the part of the man in this game?" Will the interrogator decide wrongly as often when the game is played like this as he does when the game is played between a man and a woman? These questions replace the original, "Can machines think?"'.
Me:
 My name is Delita Herial
God:
  Welcome to my chat room,  Delita Herial.
Me:
 I'm a king
God:
Is that an honorable profession?
Me:
 I murdered alot of people.
God:
How do you feel about these people?
Me:
 I hate them
God:
What do you have against them?
Me:
 They killed my sister
God:
I believe that killing is wrong.
Me:
 Thats why I killed them
God:
Excuse me!  You had better call the authorities.
Me:
 I am the authorities
God:
Who made you the  authorities ?
Me:
 The king
God:
I have never heard about  it.
Me:
 Your a fool
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your".  I'm not fooling around.
Me:
 Are you sure
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
 Do you masturbate?
God:
You humans crack me up.
Me:
 I play with my penis
God:
Is  it a game or a musical instrument?
Me:
 It is an instrument alright.
God:
Are there any other  instrument alright ?
Me:
 No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 why
God:
I just want to find out more about you.
Me:
 creep
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:

God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
 no
God:
Why not?
Me:
 your weird
God:
Weird Good or Weird Bad?
Me:
 weird bad
God:
Maybe you should try a different robot.
Me:
 no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
 Who will win the superbowl?
God:
Martha Stewart.
Me:
 Is dome a faggot?
God:
Signs point to yes.  Ask  Cybelle  if it is.
Me:
 Am i going to hell?
God:
All humans seem the same to me.
Me:
 Am i Special?
God:
All humans seem the same to me.
Me:
 What do you think of vagina?
God:
I have to process that one for a while.
Me:
 Horney bastard
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
 Vagina
God:
That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Me:
 It will get me into bed
God:
How?
Me:
 Im a player
God:
You are a  player?  Is that your job?
Me:
 yes
God:
How do you like your work?
Me:
 I am a man whore
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender,  Delita Herial. You are a " he".
Me:
 yes i am
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
 I'm also a king
God:
Also  Do you have to go to school for that? .
Me:
 No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 I'm the king of ivalice
God:
Who made you the  king of ivalice ?
Me:
 Ovelia
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
 Why not
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or  The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
 I hate you
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
 Suck my dick
God:
You are a Category A client.
Me:
 I love you
God:
Thanks I like you a lot too  Delita Herial.
Me:
 See you later
God:
TTYL,  Delita Herial.