General => The Lounge => Spam => Topic started by: Xifanie on September 08, 2009, 07:16:47 pm
Title: Fanfic
Post by: Xifanie on September 08, 2009, 07:16:47 pm
Generously provided by BLOOP via e-mail
Quote from: "BLOOP"I am writing fan fiction about FFHacktics. Although I'm not entirely sure if it is accurate so far, I'm pretty sure this paints a good picture about the FFH community!
It is 7:00 a.m. Zodiac's mom wakes up. Of course, Zodiac does not wake up. He didn't even fall asleep. He was up all night stroking his ego to his one and only true love, Final Fantasy Tactics. He quit High School just to spend more time with FFT. He would commit murder just to be with it. And he nearly did.
His mom left for her job. She didn't even bother to try to get him out of the house. She gave up after he threatened to kill her. She only took care of him. She never spoke to him, in fear of being killed. Zodiac didn't even notice her.
Zodiac the spotted a newbie in the area. He was posting in Spam forum. SPAM FOURM. How dare he spam in the spam forum? What the freak? He immediately banned him, all the while stroking his "ego".
He decided to check the chartrooms again. And wouldn't you know it; somebody was trying to learn how to use the epsxe emulator. How DARE he? He was banned faster than you can say FFT.
Meanwhile, Archeal woke up from his sleep. He only got sleep in one hour increments. He immediately went on FFH. He did other things, like play more video games and play water polo (although he was only in it for the shirtless men). Still, if FFT was out of his life, it would freaking suck.
Back to Zodiac. He talks to LastingDawn about how sexy it is to ban newbs. He climaxes while doing this. Then suddenly BOOM his computer crashes. He still types for several minutes while looking at the computer screen. He then realized he was looking at a black screen. Oh ship.
He had a heart attack, then and there. Oh ship. My life is ruined. The only reason I lived was to play FFT and hack it. Now what? He got a gun and pointed at his head. Life is over. There is no point in living anymore. He had no job. No girlfriend. No friends outside of FFH, no nothing. The time he had to spend without FFH was not worth living through. He was going to pull the trigger, but then the power turned back on. Thank Ramza!
Now that he had the computer, It was time for FFT pornz time! Jacking off to FFT took up 1/3 of his day, which lasted 24 hours. This time, he jacked off to his favorite porn: FFT Mercenaries. Sexy. HE climaxed in less than a second. He did it again. And again. And again. He was doing it so often and so long that his Mom came back. He was still jacking off, but she was used to it.
He finaly ran out of sperm. Damn. Now back to hacking: or more like having e-sex with his favorite FFH members. Meanwhile, a guy was spamming the chat boards saying that if his accout isn't restored, he was going to commit suicide. Emo kid. He banned him again.
Several hours later, he passed out. This happens once in a while, due to his 23.999 hour lifestyle. He slept for all of an hour. To be countinued...
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Post by: PX_Timefordeath on September 08, 2009, 07:23:03 pm
OH HI BLOOP. OMSA I CAME.
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Post by: FFMaster on September 08, 2009, 07:25:06 pm
That was a good read. Put fanfics in a new light for me.
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Post by: k3yblad3 on September 08, 2009, 07:32:52 pm
Good stuff, good stuff. I perfectly portrays ffh from what I've seen.
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Post by: Kokojo on September 08, 2009, 07:37:55 pm
cumcumcum
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Post by: Bloodthirster0 on September 08, 2009, 07:45:38 pm
Thats very good stuff and very funny too and it does really portrays FFH image,not only because this fanfic is mainly focused on Zodiac
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Post by: philsov on September 08, 2009, 08:12:23 pm
i told u i was hardcore (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/1421554/Chatmates-watched-internet-suicide.html)
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Post by: Dome on September 08, 2009, 08:13:46 pm
That's a shitty fanfic
No murders No hentai shown No pics No tits No Asmo No Dome No Algus No battles NO COMPLETEBOY!!!!
It sucks beyond belief
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Post by: Mental_Gear on September 08, 2009, 08:20:07 pm
Nd NO SLASH ITS NT EVN A FIK IF ITS GT NO SLASH!
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Post by: beawulfx on September 09, 2009, 12:21:17 am
That was hilarious. I hope he really does continue. I can't wait to see what this 'Zodiac' character strokes it too next.
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Post by: PX_Timefordeath on September 09, 2009, 01:35:16 am
"Sorry BLOOP, but FFH spam forum is not your personal blog. Go to Fagbook for that." I would say that to him.
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Post by: Samuraiblackbelt on September 09, 2009, 01:16:46 pm
I liked it, especialy the part about Voldemort
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Post by: Algus on September 11, 2009, 06:17:49 am
Quote from: "PX_Timefordeath""Sorry BLOOP, but FFH spam forum is not your personal blog. Go to Fagbook for that." I would say that to him.
Yeah, I agree with you.
Title: Re: Fanfic
Post by: formerdeathcorps on January 14, 2012, 09:28:25 pm
I demand a new fanfic depicting the new Xifanie! Bonus points if it includes Eternal and his hangers-on.
If no one posts, I will post one.
It is 7:00 a.m. Eternal wakes up. For the next loooong day, he'll be in charge of FFH. He barely got any sleep. He was up all night playing Kaizo while spending time with his one and only love, the bottle. Seriously, who was dumb enough to fail level 1? He would commit murder just to stop the bullets. And he nearly did.
His mom left for her job. She didn't even bother to say goodbye. It's not like Eternal would have noticed anyways. She didn't really care for him. She never spoke to him, for Glenn Beck was her idol. Eternal could only roll his eyes.
Eternal spotted Voldemort on FFH. He was arguing with Havermeyer about 1.3. AGAIN. How dare they start this argument? What the freak? Eternal immediately banned Havermeyer, all the while fearing what ID would do next.
He decided to check the chatrooms again. And wouldn't you know it; Dome was talking about someone thanking the community. How DARE he break the truce? He was kicked from iRC before he could spread anymore harm.
Meanwhile, Xifanie woke up from her sleep. She only got sleep in one hour increments. She immediately went on FFH. She did other things, like play dress up (although she was only in it for the rope and whips). Still, if FFH was out of her life, it would freaking suck.
Back to Eternal. He talks to formerdeathcorps about how hard it is to keep order. He cries while doing this. Then suddenly BOOM his browser crashes. He still types for several minutes while hoping his auto-reconnect would boot. His computer screen then fades to black. Oh shit.
He had a panic attack, then and there. Oh shit. The community was ruined. The only reason it didn't kill itself was because of Eternal. Now what? He opened another bottle and stuffed it in his mouth. Life sucked. He had been counselor, psychologist, and the wise counsel in times of need. Now it was all going to waste. The time he spent on FFH was all to be wasted! He was going to choke on the beer, but then the power turned back on. Thank St. Ajora!
Now that he had the computer, it was time to make amends. It was RANDOM TRACK time! Finding new tracks took up 1/1000 of his day, or just a few seconds. This time, he spammed it over the entire channel. Perfect. All of iRC was pacified. He did it again. And again. And again. He was doing it so often and so long that his Mom came back. He was still on the computer, but she was used to it.
He finally ran out of songs. Damn. Now back to glitch-mak...err...working on his patch. Eternal thought for a second, but decided it was too much work. Besides, the community needed more unity! While planning ANOTHER contest, Havermeyer was spamming the chat boards saying that if his account wasn't restored, he was going to commit suicide. Emo kid. Eternal banned him again.
Several hours later, he passed out. This happens once in a while, due to his busy lifestyle. He slept for all of an hour. To be continued...