Poll
Boomkick guess what .....*sniped*
oh god why
that made me lol
i had the same idea for those two lines lol
Old photoshop, but:
(http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a58/philsov/FFT/funeral.jpg)
Question: PARADOY or NO PARADOY
Option 1: PARADOY!!!!!!!!
votes: 19
Option 2: NO PARADOY!!! (You hear Cyber aiming a gun in the distance)
votes: 6
Title: FFT: PARADOY!!!
Post by: Cyberblade on October 05, 2008, 03:14:28 pm
Post by: Cyberblade on October 05, 2008, 03:14:28 pm
Who would be interested in me writing a paradoy script for FFT and making a patch for it?
Title:
Post by: DarthPaul on October 05, 2008, 04:20:29 pm
Post by: DarthPaul on October 05, 2008, 04:20:29 pm
i like the idea very much *cocks sniper pistol* whoever says no will be hunted down....i already got Voldemort and replaced him with a russian counterpart
bwahahahahahahahaa
bwahahahahahahahaa
Title:
Post by: boomkick on October 05, 2008, 07:08:02 pm
Post by: boomkick on October 05, 2008, 07:08:02 pm
Hmm, i helped Voldemort out of his grave condition and now hes reading a label on the US rocket launcher "Aim at the enemy."
Title:
Post by: samuchan on October 05, 2008, 10:36:54 pm
Post by: samuchan on October 05, 2008, 10:36:54 pm
Please insert lines from the "F*ck Yo couch" Chappelle Show sketch.
Or just have someone say "You ass! F*ck yo couch!"
Or just have someone say "You ass! F*ck yo couch!"
Title:
Post by: DarthPaul on October 05, 2008, 11:20:02 pm
Post by: DarthPaul on October 05, 2008, 11:20:02 pm
Quote from: "boomkick"Hmm, i helped Voldemort out of his grave condition and now hes reading a label on the US rocket launcher "Aim at the enemy."
Boomkick guess what .....*sniped*
oh god why
Title:
Post by: Cyberblade on October 06, 2008, 01:01:42 pm
Post by: Cyberblade on October 06, 2008, 01:01:42 pm
(ill patch it after i get the entire scrpt made but for now im gonna post here so you can have enjoyment of it.
God, You suck go
beat the **** out of some idiot.
Female Knight: Princess Ovelia, let's go.
Princess Ovelia: When im good and ready Agrias...
Agrias: The guards have already arrived.
Priest: Princess, don't give Agrias trouble. Please hurry...
Ovelia: Shut up you old fart. Im the Princess remember?
[A knight and two squires comes in from outside.]
Black Knight: What's going on? It's been nearly an hour!
Agrias: Don't be rude to the Princess, Gafgarion.
[The two squires behind the Black Knight kneels down while the
Black Knight simply bows his head.]
Gafgarion: Agrias if it was up to me id kill you. But this is an
urgent issue for us.
Agrias: So there are rude knaves even among the Hokuten?
Gafgarion: I'm being more than kind to the guard captains
here. Besides, we're mercenaries hired by the Hokuten. I'm not
obliged to show respect to you.
Agrias: What? How dare you!
[The princess stands up.]
Ovelia: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Agrias you got BEAT.
[The two squires gets up on their feet. The princess walks
over to the priest.]
Priest: You are the weakest link, GOOD ****IN BYE.
Ovelia: {Give simon a middle finger.}
[A female knight walks in with a nasty wound. The priest helps
the knight.]
Female Knight: Lady Agrias!... The enemy!
Simon: Prince Goltana's men!?
[Agrias quickly rushes out the monastery.]
Gafgarion: What one must do to make money. What, Ramza? You
have a problem, too?
Ramza: ...I'm no longer a Knight. Just a mercenary like you.
Gafgarion: ...That's right. Well then. Let's go!
[The Knight and the two squires goes outside.]
Ovelia: ...*pulls out a gatling gun*
- Outside the monastery -
-------------------------
Agrias: The crest of the Black Lion!? What's wrong with Prince
Goltana!? He's such an idiot! Does he want to start a war!?
Goltana Knight: Knave! There's no point in resisting! Just
give us the Princess, or that beautiful face of yours will be
scarred forever!
[The black knight and the two squires comes out to help Agrias
and the others.]
Gafgarion: Fool! Only idiots attack head on!
[Agrias steps forward.]
Agrias: Leave this to us!
Gafgarion: We can't make money that way! Rad, Ramza! Follow
me!! Kill them all! Don't leave any survivors!
Agrias: Nonsense! There's no need to kill them! That's just
what Goltana wants us to do! Just let them go!
Gafgarion: That's impossible!
[Ovelia runs out massacring all of the enemy, then walk back inside. Then you hear her scream from the back.]
Ovelia: Let go of me!
[Agrias looks at the monastery.]
Agrias: Damn!!
[Agrias runs inside to save the princess. A knight takes the
princess through the back door of the monastery.]
Knight: Come here! Be quiet!!
Ovelia: Why should I listen to you!?
Knight: What an annoying Princess.
[The knight punches the princess on the stomach and puts her
on his chocobo. Agrias comes out.]
Agrias: Wait!!
Knight: Tough...Don't blame us. Blame yourself or God.
[The knight takes off with the princess. Agrias runs after the
knight, realizing she cannot keep up, she falls down on her
knees.]
Agrias: Oh, God......
[Ramza sees the knight.]
Ramza: ...Delita?? You're alive, Delita? But, why are you in
Goltana's troops? Why...? Extremly loud : WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!
God, You suck go
beat the **** out of some idiot.
Female Knight: Princess Ovelia, let's go.
Princess Ovelia: When im good and ready Agrias...
Agrias: The guards have already arrived.
Priest: Princess, don't give Agrias trouble. Please hurry...
Ovelia: Shut up you old fart. Im the Princess remember?
[A knight and two squires comes in from outside.]
Black Knight: What's going on? It's been nearly an hour!
Agrias: Don't be rude to the Princess, Gafgarion.
[The two squires behind the Black Knight kneels down while the
Black Knight simply bows his head.]
Gafgarion: Agrias if it was up to me id kill you. But this is an
urgent issue for us.
Agrias: So there are rude knaves even among the Hokuten?
Gafgarion: I'm being more than kind to the guard captains
here. Besides, we're mercenaries hired by the Hokuten. I'm not
obliged to show respect to you.
Agrias: What? How dare you!
[The princess stands up.]
Ovelia: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Agrias you got BEAT.
[The two squires gets up on their feet. The princess walks
over to the priest.]
Priest: You are the weakest link, GOOD ****IN BYE.
Ovelia: {Give simon a middle finger.}
[A female knight walks in with a nasty wound. The priest helps
the knight.]
Female Knight: Lady Agrias!... The enemy!
Simon: Prince Goltana's men!?
[Agrias quickly rushes out the monastery.]
Gafgarion: What one must do to make money. What, Ramza? You
have a problem, too?
Ramza: ...I'm no longer a Knight. Just a mercenary like you.
Gafgarion: ...That's right. Well then. Let's go!
[The Knight and the two squires goes outside.]
Ovelia: ...*pulls out a gatling gun*
- Outside the monastery -
-------------------------
Agrias: The crest of the Black Lion!? What's wrong with Prince
Goltana!? He's such an idiot! Does he want to start a war!?
Goltana Knight: Knave! There's no point in resisting! Just
give us the Princess, or that beautiful face of yours will be
scarred forever!
[The black knight and the two squires comes out to help Agrias
and the others.]
Gafgarion: Fool! Only idiots attack head on!
[Agrias steps forward.]
Agrias: Leave this to us!
Gafgarion: We can't make money that way! Rad, Ramza! Follow
me!! Kill them all! Don't leave any survivors!
Agrias: Nonsense! There's no need to kill them! That's just
what Goltana wants us to do! Just let them go!
Gafgarion: That's impossible!
[Ovelia runs out massacring all of the enemy, then walk back inside. Then you hear her scream from the back.]
Ovelia: Let go of me!
[Agrias looks at the monastery.]
Agrias: Damn!!
[Agrias runs inside to save the princess. A knight takes the
princess through the back door of the monastery.]
Knight: Come here! Be quiet!!
Ovelia: Why should I listen to you!?
Knight: What an annoying Princess.
[The knight punches the princess on the stomach and puts her
on his chocobo. Agrias comes out.]
Agrias: Wait!!
Knight: Tough...Don't blame us. Blame yourself or God.
[The knight takes off with the princess. Agrias runs after the
knight, realizing she cannot keep up, she falls down on her
knees.]
Agrias: Oh, God......
[Ramza sees the knight.]
Ramza: ...Delita?? You're alive, Delita? But, why are you in
Goltana's troops? Why...? Extremly loud : WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!
Title:
Post by: DarthPaul on October 06, 2008, 01:11:46 pm
Post by: DarthPaul on October 06, 2008, 01:11:46 pm
lol i love it man comic genius
Title:
Post by: boomkick on October 06, 2008, 09:17:35 pm
Post by: boomkick on October 06, 2008, 09:17:35 pm
I wanna edit it just for my opinion. You don't have to change it at all, but i just felt like it.
[EDIT] changed some lines.
God, Go
beat the **** out of some idiot.
Female Knight: Princess Ovelia, let's go.
Princess Ovelia: Just shut up and wait.
Agrias: The guards have already arrived.
Priest: Princess, don't be a bitch. Please hurry...
Ovelia: Shut up you old fart. I'm the Princess remember?
[A knight and two squires comes in from outside.]
Black Knight: What the **** is taking so long.
Agrias: Don't be rude to the Princess, Gafgarion.
[The two squires behind the Black Knight kneels down while the
Black Knight simply bows his head.]
Gafgarion: Agrias if it was up to me I'd kill you. But this is an
urgent issue for us.
Agrias: So there are rude knaves even among the Hokuten?
Gafgarion: I'm being more than kind to the guard captains
here. Besides, we're mercenaries hired by the Hokuten. I'm not
obliged to show respect to you.
Agrias: What? How dare you!
[The princess stands up.]
Ovelia: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Agrias you got BEAT.
[The two squires gets up on their feet. The princess walks
over to the priest.]
Priest: You are the weakest link, GOOD ****IN BYE.
Ovelia: {Give simon a middle finger.}
[A female knight walks in with a nasty wound. The priest helps
the knight.]
Female Knight: Lady Agrias!... The enemy!
Simon: Not another one... they always get hurt and come to ME!
[Agrias quickly rushes out the monastery.]
Gafgarion: What one must do to make money. What, Ramza? You
have a problem, too?
Ramza: Lets go beat the crap outta them!
Gafgarion: ...That's right. Well then. Let's go!
[The Knight and the two squires goes outside.]
Ovelia: ...*pulls out a gatling gun*
- Outside the monastery -
-------------------------
Agrias: The crest of the Black Lion!? What's wrong with Prince
Goltana!? He's such an idiot! Does he want to start a war!?
Goltana Knight: Knave! There's no point in resisting! Just
give us the Princess, or I'll run you through with my sharp thingy!
[The black knight and the two squires comes out to help Agrias
and the others.]
Gafgarion: Fool! Only idiots attack head on!
[Agrias steps forward.]
Agrias: Leave this to us!
Gafgarion: We can't make money that way! Rad, Ramza! Slice em', Dice em', And most importantly...KILL THEM! MUHAHAHA!
Agrias: Nonsense! There's no need to kill them! That's just
what Goltana wants us to do! Just let them go!
Gafgarion: That's NOT in the contract!
[Ovelia runs out massacring all of the enemy, then walk back inside. Then you hear her scream from the back.]
Ovelia: Let go of me!
[Agrias looks at the monastery.]
Agrias: Damn!!
[Agrias runs inside to save the princess. A knight takes the
princess through the back door of the monastery.]
Knight: Come here! Be quiet!!
Ovelia: DON'T RAPE ME! I BEG OF YOU!
Knight: What? Your too ugly to rape and shut up.
[The knight punches the princess on the stomach and puts her
on his chocobo. Agrias comes out.]
Agrias: Wait!!
Knight: Tough...Don't blame us. Blame yourself or God.
[The knight takes off with the princess. Agrias runs after the
knight, realizing she cannot keep up, she falls down on her
knees.]
Agrias: Oh, God......i blame you.
[Ramza sees the knight.]
Ramza: ...Delita?? You're alive, Delita? But, why are you in
Goltana's troops? Why...? Extremly loud : WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!![/quote]
[EDIT] changed some lines.
God, Go
beat the **** out of some idiot.
Female Knight: Princess Ovelia, let's go.
Princess Ovelia: Just shut up and wait.
Agrias: The guards have already arrived.
Priest: Princess, don't be a bitch. Please hurry...
Ovelia: Shut up you old fart. I'm the Princess remember?
[A knight and two squires comes in from outside.]
Black Knight: What the **** is taking so long.
Agrias: Don't be rude to the Princess, Gafgarion.
[The two squires behind the Black Knight kneels down while the
Black Knight simply bows his head.]
Gafgarion: Agrias if it was up to me I'd kill you. But this is an
urgent issue for us.
Agrias: So there are rude knaves even among the Hokuten?
Gafgarion: I'm being more than kind to the guard captains
here. Besides, we're mercenaries hired by the Hokuten. I'm not
obliged to show respect to you.
Agrias: What? How dare you!
[The princess stands up.]
Ovelia: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Agrias you got BEAT.
[The two squires gets up on their feet. The princess walks
over to the priest.]
Priest: You are the weakest link, GOOD ****IN BYE.
Ovelia: {Give simon a middle finger.}
[A female knight walks in with a nasty wound. The priest helps
the knight.]
Female Knight: Lady Agrias!... The enemy!
Simon: Not another one... they always get hurt and come to ME!
[Agrias quickly rushes out the monastery.]
Gafgarion: What one must do to make money. What, Ramza? You
have a problem, too?
Ramza: Lets go beat the crap outta them!
Gafgarion: ...That's right. Well then. Let's go!
[The Knight and the two squires goes outside.]
Ovelia: ...*pulls out a gatling gun*
- Outside the monastery -
-------------------------
Agrias: The crest of the Black Lion!? What's wrong with Prince
Goltana!? He's such an idiot! Does he want to start a war!?
Goltana Knight: Knave! There's no point in resisting! Just
give us the Princess, or I'll run you through with my sharp thingy!
[The black knight and the two squires comes out to help Agrias
and the others.]
Gafgarion: Fool! Only idiots attack head on!
[Agrias steps forward.]
Agrias: Leave this to us!
Gafgarion: We can't make money that way! Rad, Ramza! Slice em', Dice em', And most importantly...KILL THEM! MUHAHAHA!
Agrias: Nonsense! There's no need to kill them! That's just
what Goltana wants us to do! Just let them go!
Gafgarion: That's NOT in the contract!
[Ovelia runs out massacring all of the enemy, then walk back inside. Then you hear her scream from the back.]
Ovelia: Let go of me!
[Agrias looks at the monastery.]
Agrias: Damn!!
[Agrias runs inside to save the princess. A knight takes the
princess through the back door of the monastery.]
Knight: Come here! Be quiet!!
Ovelia: DON'T RAPE ME! I BEG OF YOU!
Knight: What? Your too ugly to rape and shut up.
[The knight punches the princess on the stomach and puts her
on his chocobo. Agrias comes out.]
Agrias: Wait!!
Knight: Tough...Don't blame us. Blame yourself or God.
[The knight takes off with the princess. Agrias runs after the
knight, realizing she cannot keep up, she falls down on her
knees.]
Agrias: Oh, God......i blame you.
[Ramza sees the knight.]
Ramza: ...Delita?? You're alive, Delita? But, why are you in
Goltana's troops? Why...? Extremly loud : WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!![/quote]
Title:
Post by: DarthPaul on October 06, 2008, 11:01:22 pm
Post by: DarthPaul on October 06, 2008, 11:01:22 pm
QuoteNot another one... they always get hurt and come to ME!
that made me lol
Title:
Post by: Kokojo on October 07, 2008, 02:39:14 pm
Post by: Kokojo on October 07, 2008, 02:39:14 pm
I think everyone should be consulted for that parody, here my idea (tell me if you want me to take it back)
[A female knight walks in with a nasty wound. The priest helps
the knight.]
Female Knight: Zomg, i got pwnzors !
Simon: Why the hell can't i use cure 2 now and send her to battle ?
[Agrias quickly rushes out the monastery.]
Gafgarion: Let's go see what happening, young lad.
Ramza: They will perish under a sea of blood !
Gafgarion: ...That's right. Well then. Let's go!
[The Knight and the two squires goes outside.]
Ovelia: Man, i forgot to cast them M-barrier.
- Outside the monastery -
-------------------------
Agrias: Prince Goltana mens ?
Goltana Knight: Haha, we are here to take the princess, even such you overpower us with 2 holy knights, Goltana sent 5 of his weakest mans to take the princess. Wait a minute...
[The black knight and the two squires comes out to help Agrias
and the others.]
Gafgarion: Fool! Only idiots attack head on withouth planning that a old friend of a soldier in this batlle will capture the princess aftherwards !
[Agrias steps forward.]
Agrias: Leave this to us, they are fucking weak!
Gafgarion: Nah, i want to see their blood, BLOOD ! MUAHAHA
Agrias: You sick foul.
Gafgarion: RAMZA, RAD, LETS SLAUGHTER THEM
[Gafarion rapes the enemy with Blood river attack]
Ovelia: Hey, he's touching my breast !
[Agrias looks at the monastery.]
Agrias: Lol.
[Agrias runs inside to save the princess. A knight takes the
princess through the back door of the monastery.]
Knight: Man, i could just kill you then gve you a phenix down, why din't i think of that sooner ?
Ovelia: Please rape me !
Knight: Ew.
[The knight punches the princess on the stomach and puts her
on his chocobo. Agrias comes out.]
Agrias: Shit, why dont i statis him !
Knight: Don't blame me. Blame Canada.
[The knight takes off with the princess. Agrias runs after the
knight, realizing she cannot keep up, she falls down on her
knees.]
Agrias: Damn you, canada!
[Ramza sees the knight.]
Ramza: Meh, its my old friend.
[A female knight walks in with a nasty wound. The priest helps
the knight.]
Female Knight: Zomg, i got pwnzors !
Simon: Why the hell can't i use cure 2 now and send her to battle ?
[Agrias quickly rushes out the monastery.]
Gafgarion: Let's go see what happening, young lad.
Ramza: They will perish under a sea of blood !
Gafgarion: ...That's right. Well then. Let's go!
[The Knight and the two squires goes outside.]
Ovelia: Man, i forgot to cast them M-barrier.
- Outside the monastery -
-------------------------
Agrias: Prince Goltana mens ?
Goltana Knight: Haha, we are here to take the princess, even such you overpower us with 2 holy knights, Goltana sent 5 of his weakest mans to take the princess. Wait a minute...
[The black knight and the two squires comes out to help Agrias
and the others.]
Gafgarion: Fool! Only idiots attack head on withouth planning that a old friend of a soldier in this batlle will capture the princess aftherwards !
[Agrias steps forward.]
Agrias: Leave this to us, they are fucking weak!
Gafgarion: Nah, i want to see their blood, BLOOD ! MUAHAHA
Agrias: You sick foul.
Gafgarion: RAMZA, RAD, LETS SLAUGHTER THEM
[Gafarion rapes the enemy with Blood river attack]
Ovelia: Hey, he's touching my breast !
[Agrias looks at the monastery.]
Agrias: Lol.
[Agrias runs inside to save the princess. A knight takes the
princess through the back door of the monastery.]
Knight: Man, i could just kill you then gve you a phenix down, why din't i think of that sooner ?
Ovelia: Please rape me !
Knight: Ew.
[The knight punches the princess on the stomach and puts her
on his chocobo. Agrias comes out.]
Agrias: Shit, why dont i statis him !
Knight: Don't blame me. Blame Canada.
[The knight takes off with the princess. Agrias runs after the
knight, realizing she cannot keep up, she falls down on her
knees.]
Agrias: Damn you, canada!
[Ramza sees the knight.]
Ramza: Meh, its my old friend.
Title:
Post by: DarthPaul on October 07, 2008, 02:48:11 pm
Post by: DarthPaul on October 07, 2008, 02:48:11 pm
QuoteDamn you, canada!
i had the same idea for those two lines lol
Title:
Post by: philsov on October 07, 2008, 03:11:35 pm
Post by: philsov on October 07, 2008, 03:11:35 pm
Quote from: "samuchan"Please insert lines from the "F*ck Yo couch" Chappelle Show sketch.
Or just have someone say "You ass! F*ck yo couch!"
Old photoshop, but:
(http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a58/philsov/FFT/funeral.jpg)
Title:
Post by: LastingDawn on October 07, 2008, 03:32:55 pm
Post by: LastingDawn on October 07, 2008, 03:32:55 pm
Poor Funeral... he always get the short end of the stick and is then not only stabbed in the chest, stabbed in the spine, he is then slapped in the face by a Heretic.
Title:
Post by: Zozma on October 07, 2008, 03:48:27 pm
Post by: Zozma on October 07, 2008, 03:48:27 pm
lol use my idea
Ramza: I'm protecting Ovelia! Geronimo!!!
Ramza: I was going to attack the castle flank to save you, but why are you here?
Ovelia: We tried to escape but only Agrias was caught!
Ramza: I'm protecting Ovelia! Geronimo!!!
Ramza: I was going to attack the castle flank to save you, but why are you here?
Ovelia: We tried to escape but only Agrias was caught!
Title:
Post by: DarthPaul on October 07, 2008, 04:49:48 pm
Post by: DarthPaul on October 07, 2008, 04:49:48 pm
why not have everyone including besridio pronounce mustadio's name wrong and have him get pissed at it
Title:
Post by: Green Archer on October 09, 2008, 10:48:57 am
Post by: Green Archer on October 09, 2008, 10:48:57 am
In the scene where Ramza, Beowulf and Reis (Dragon) are all on Nelveska Temple, Reis' Human sprite could be changed to a random male sprite (I am thinking, Aliste from the PSP version) to get some good 'ol fashioned Brokeback Mountain scene. LOL!!
It will turn out that Aliste and Beowulf had a thing going when they were still within the Lionel Gryphon Knights...
It will turn out that Aliste and Beowulf had a thing going when they were still within the Lionel Gryphon Knights...
Title:
Post by: DarthPaul on October 09, 2008, 10:57:52 am
Post by: DarthPaul on October 09, 2008, 10:57:52 am
????? THAT IS JUST SICK but i like it for the comedy value
Title:
Post by: murak on October 09, 2008, 01:46:41 pm
Post by: murak on October 09, 2008, 01:46:41 pm
What about we try to make FFT styled Monty Python Sketches? I think Bastard Poetry's style of film making could be used to take bits and add effects to make something like a defence against fruit or a dead parrot sketch, for the Defence against fruit one, it could use the Gariland Academy where the Knight addresses the cadets as a base, then he could kill some of the squires and Ramza/delita could yell out that he's killing them, and instead of a tiger, it could either be a croul (can't spell T_T) or a Behemoth, good, bad?
Title:
Post by: SentinalBlade on October 09, 2008, 02:57:08 pm
Post by: SentinalBlade on October 09, 2008, 02:57:08 pm
murak... you just won 100 "Blade" pints by saying all that... monty python ftw
I whole heartedly agree
I whole heartedly agree
Title:
Post by: DarthPaul on October 09, 2008, 03:23:25 pm
Post by: DarthPaul on October 09, 2008, 03:23:25 pm
and what are "Blade" pints anyway Sentinal
Title:
Post by: murak on October 09, 2008, 10:09:12 pm
Post by: murak on October 09, 2008, 10:09:12 pm
FFT Defence against fruit
Knight: So, Evening course!
Cadets: Evening sir.
Knight: Where's all the others then?
Cadets: Not here.
Knight: I can see that! What's the matter with them?
Cadets: Don't know.
Ramza: Perhaps they have the flu.
Knight: Flu!? FLU!? They've been eating too much fresh fruit!
Knight <new window> Right! Now! Self Defence! Tonight as we carry on from where we got onto last week, I was showing you how to defend yourself from someone armed, with a piece of fresh fruit!
Delita: You promised you wouldn't do fruit this week!
Ramza: we did fresh fruit for the last 9 weeks!
Knight: What's wrong with fruit!? You think you know it all, eh!?
Delita: Can't we do something else for a change?
Ramza: Like someone who attacks you with a pointed stick?
Knight: POINTED STICKS!? OH Oh! We wanna learn how to defend ourselves from pointed sticks do we!? Getting all high and mighty, eh!? Fresh fruit not good enough for you, eh!? Oh oh oh, WELL, I'll tell you something my lad, WHEN YOU'RE ALL WALKING HOME AT NIGHT AND SOME HOMICIDIAL MANIAC COMES AFTER YOU WITH A MUCH OF LOGANBERRIES DON'T COME CRYING TO ME!!
Knight: <new window> Right! The passion fruit! When your assialant lunges at you with a passion fruit thusly-
Cadets: WE'VE DONE PASSION FRUITS.
Knight: What!?
Delita: we've done the passion fruits!
Ramza: we've done oranges, apples, grapefruits-
Delita: whole and segmented.
Ramza: pomegranets, greengages, grapes, passion fruits, lemons, plums...
Delita: and mangos in syrup!
Knight: how about cherries!?
Cadets: we've done them.
Knight: red and black!?
Cadets: YES.
Knight: Alright then... BANANAS!
Cadets: <groan>
Knight: we haven't done them have we! RIGHT! bananas! How to defend yourself against a man armed with a banana!
Knight: <new window, throws a banana to a cadet> here! you! Take this! Now! it's quite simple to arm yourself from the banana fiend! First of all, you force him to drop the banana! next, you eat the banana! Thus disarming him! You have now rendered him 'elpless!
Delita: suppose he had a bunch?
Knight: ....SHUDDUP!
Ramza: suppose he had a pointed stick?
Knight: SHADDUP! right! Now, you! Mister Apricot!
Cadet: Harrison.
Knight: Harrison. come at me with that banana! Come on! attack me with it! As hard as you like, come on!
Harrison: <walks 2 spaces forward>
Knight: NO NO! NO! NO NO! Put something into it for God's sake! Hold it like that! (holds his arm in the air) SCREAM! Come on! attack me! COME ON!!
Harrison: <rushes over to the Knight fast paced walking, screaming>
Knight: <pulls out a gun and shoots Harrison> NOW!! <picks up the banana> I eat the banana!
Delita: YOU'VE SHOT HIM!!
Ramza; You shot him dead!!!
Knight: yes, well, I have now eaten the banana! The diseased is safe to say he's disarmed!
Delita: You shot him!
Ramza: You shot him dead!
Knight: well, he was attacking me with a banana!
Delita: You told him to!
Knight: look! I'm only doing my job! I'm here to show you how to defend yourselves against fresh fruit!
Ramza; and pointed sticks.
Knight: shaddup!
Cadet: supposing someone come at you with a banana and you haven't got a gun?
Knight: .........Run for it.
Delita: well you could stand and scream for help!
Knight: yeah, you try that with a pineapple down your windpipe!
Delita: PINEAPPLE!?
Knight: <facing different directions> WHERE!? Oh God where!?
Delita: nowhere, i was just saying 'pineapple'.
Knight: oh blimey, i thought my number was on that one...
Delita: on the pineapple?
Knight: Where!? WHERE!?
Delita: no, I was just saying it!
Knight: oh. OH! I see. Right! That's the banana then! Next, the raspberry! <hold up a raspberry> harmless looking thing, isn't it!? You! Mr tinned peach!
Cadet: Thompson!
Knight: Thompson then. Come at me with that raspberry! come on! be as vicious as you like!
Thompson: NO.
Knight: Why not?
Thompson: You'll shoot me.
Knight: I won't!
Thompson: You shot Mr. Harrison!
Knight: That was self defence! Come on! I promise I won't shoot ya!
Ramza: promise you'll tell us about pointed sticks?
Knight: SHADDUP! Brandish that! Brandish that raspberry! COME ON!!! BE AS VICIOUS AS YOU LIKE!!!
Thompson: Throw the gun away!
Knight: I haven't got a gun!
Thompson: You have! You shot Mr. Harrison with it!
Knight: oh. THAT gun.
Thompson: throw it away!
Knight: alright. <throws gun away> How to defend yourself from a man armed with a raspberry, WITHOUT a gun!
Thompson: YOU WERE GOING TO SHOOT ME!!!
Knight: oh, I wasn't! come on you worm! you miserable little man! come at me then!
Thompson: <walks up to the knight>
Knight: <throws a shuriken at Thompson's eye, it goes through his head, Thompson drops dead) If anyone ever attacks you with a raspberry, simply throw the shuriken and it will go through their head! I learnt that in Igros!
Delita: Suppose you haven't got a shuriken?
Knight: well, that's planning, isn;t it?
Delita: How many shurikens are there?
Knight: Look smartie pants! the shuriken is just one way, JUST ONE WAY, of killing the raspberry killer! there are millions of others!
Delita: like what?
Knight: ...Shoot him!
Delita: supposing you haven't got a gun or a shuriken?
Knight: ALRIGHT! Clever Dick! You two (throws ramza and Delita a box of raspberries) come at me with raspberries then! there! a whole box each! come at me then!
Delita: no gun?
Knight: no!
Delita: ...no shuriken?
Knight: no!
Ramza; no pointed stick?
Knight: SHADDUP!
Delita: nothing that drops out of the ceiling?
Knight: no!
Delita: ......you won't kill us?
Knight: I won't kill you!
Delita: promise?
Knight: I promise I won't kill you! come on! attack me!
Delita & Ramza: ....alright....
Knight: right! don't rush me this time! I'm going to turn my back so you can stalk me! <turns around> come as quietly as you can right close up behind me, THEN, in with the raspberry! Start moving!
Delita & Ramza: <both start to move to the knight as he's talking>
Knight: now! the first thing to do when being stalked by an ugly mob with raspberries, is to... release the behemoth.
Delita and ramza: AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!
Knight: the great thing advantage of the behemoth is that it not only eats the raspberry laiden foe, but also the raspberry! The behemoth however does not eat peaches! The peach assailant should be attacked by a Tiamat!
Knight: <new window> Right now the rest of you, i know you're there, under the floor boards with your dames and your prunes, hiding behind the walls with your fruit, well, i'm ready for you! I eat over 200 tons of jelly a night! and if any of you even try anything, we'll all go out together! I WARNED YA!! (uses all ultima)
Knight: So, Evening course!
Cadets: Evening sir.
Knight: Where's all the others then?
Cadets: Not here.
Knight: I can see that! What's the matter with them?
Cadets: Don't know.
Ramza: Perhaps they have the flu.
Knight: Flu!? FLU!? They've been eating too much fresh fruit!
Knight <new window> Right! Now! Self Defence! Tonight as we carry on from where we got onto last week, I was showing you how to defend yourself from someone armed, with a piece of fresh fruit!
Delita: You promised you wouldn't do fruit this week!
Ramza: we did fresh fruit for the last 9 weeks!
Knight: What's wrong with fruit!? You think you know it all, eh!?
Delita: Can't we do something else for a change?
Ramza: Like someone who attacks you with a pointed stick?
Knight: POINTED STICKS!? OH Oh! We wanna learn how to defend ourselves from pointed sticks do we!? Getting all high and mighty, eh!? Fresh fruit not good enough for you, eh!? Oh oh oh, WELL, I'll tell you something my lad, WHEN YOU'RE ALL WALKING HOME AT NIGHT AND SOME HOMICIDIAL MANIAC COMES AFTER YOU WITH A MUCH OF LOGANBERRIES DON'T COME CRYING TO ME!!
Knight: <new window> Right! The passion fruit! When your assialant lunges at you with a passion fruit thusly-
Cadets: WE'VE DONE PASSION FRUITS.
Knight: What!?
Delita: we've done the passion fruits!
Ramza: we've done oranges, apples, grapefruits-
Delita: whole and segmented.
Ramza: pomegranets, greengages, grapes, passion fruits, lemons, plums...
Delita: and mangos in syrup!
Knight: how about cherries!?
Cadets: we've done them.
Knight: red and black!?
Cadets: YES.
Knight: Alright then... BANANAS!
Cadets: <groan>
Knight: we haven't done them have we! RIGHT! bananas! How to defend yourself against a man armed with a banana!
Knight: <new window, throws a banana to a cadet> here! you! Take this! Now! it's quite simple to arm yourself from the banana fiend! First of all, you force him to drop the banana! next, you eat the banana! Thus disarming him! You have now rendered him 'elpless!
Delita: suppose he had a bunch?
Knight: ....SHUDDUP!
Ramza: suppose he had a pointed stick?
Knight: SHADDUP! right! Now, you! Mister Apricot!
Cadet: Harrison.
Knight: Harrison. come at me with that banana! Come on! attack me with it! As hard as you like, come on!
Harrison: <walks 2 spaces forward>
Knight: NO NO! NO! NO NO! Put something into it for God's sake! Hold it like that! (holds his arm in the air) SCREAM! Come on! attack me! COME ON!!
Harrison: <rushes over to the Knight fast paced walking, screaming>
Knight: <pulls out a gun and shoots Harrison> NOW!! <picks up the banana> I eat the banana!
Delita: YOU'VE SHOT HIM!!
Ramza; You shot him dead!!!
Knight: yes, well, I have now eaten the banana! The diseased is safe to say he's disarmed!
Delita: You shot him!
Ramza: You shot him dead!
Knight: well, he was attacking me with a banana!
Delita: You told him to!
Knight: look! I'm only doing my job! I'm here to show you how to defend yourselves against fresh fruit!
Ramza; and pointed sticks.
Knight: shaddup!
Cadet: supposing someone come at you with a banana and you haven't got a gun?
Knight: .........Run for it.
Delita: well you could stand and scream for help!
Knight: yeah, you try that with a pineapple down your windpipe!
Delita: PINEAPPLE!?
Knight: <facing different directions> WHERE!? Oh God where!?
Delita: nowhere, i was just saying 'pineapple'.
Knight: oh blimey, i thought my number was on that one...
Delita: on the pineapple?
Knight: Where!? WHERE!?
Delita: no, I was just saying it!
Knight: oh. OH! I see. Right! That's the banana then! Next, the raspberry! <hold up a raspberry> harmless looking thing, isn't it!? You! Mr tinned peach!
Cadet: Thompson!
Knight: Thompson then. Come at me with that raspberry! come on! be as vicious as you like!
Thompson: NO.
Knight: Why not?
Thompson: You'll shoot me.
Knight: I won't!
Thompson: You shot Mr. Harrison!
Knight: That was self defence! Come on! I promise I won't shoot ya!
Ramza: promise you'll tell us about pointed sticks?
Knight: SHADDUP! Brandish that! Brandish that raspberry! COME ON!!! BE AS VICIOUS AS YOU LIKE!!!
Thompson: Throw the gun away!
Knight: I haven't got a gun!
Thompson: You have! You shot Mr. Harrison with it!
Knight: oh. THAT gun.
Thompson: throw it away!
Knight: alright. <throws gun away> How to defend yourself from a man armed with a raspberry, WITHOUT a gun!
Thompson: YOU WERE GOING TO SHOOT ME!!!
Knight: oh, I wasn't! come on you worm! you miserable little man! come at me then!
Thompson: <walks up to the knight>
Knight: <throws a shuriken at Thompson's eye, it goes through his head, Thompson drops dead) If anyone ever attacks you with a raspberry, simply throw the shuriken and it will go through their head! I learnt that in Igros!
Delita: Suppose you haven't got a shuriken?
Knight: well, that's planning, isn;t it?
Delita: How many shurikens are there?
Knight: Look smartie pants! the shuriken is just one way, JUST ONE WAY, of killing the raspberry killer! there are millions of others!
Delita: like what?
Knight: ...Shoot him!
Delita: supposing you haven't got a gun or a shuriken?
Knight: ALRIGHT! Clever Dick! You two (throws ramza and Delita a box of raspberries) come at me with raspberries then! there! a whole box each! come at me then!
Delita: no gun?
Knight: no!
Delita: ...no shuriken?
Knight: no!
Ramza; no pointed stick?
Knight: SHADDUP!
Delita: nothing that drops out of the ceiling?
Knight: no!
Delita: ......you won't kill us?
Knight: I won't kill you!
Delita: promise?
Knight: I promise I won't kill you! come on! attack me!
Delita & Ramza: ....alright....
Knight: right! don't rush me this time! I'm going to turn my back so you can stalk me! <turns around> come as quietly as you can right close up behind me, THEN, in with the raspberry! Start moving!
Delita & Ramza: <both start to move to the knight as he's talking>
Knight: now! the first thing to do when being stalked by an ugly mob with raspberries, is to... release the behemoth.
Delita and ramza: AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!
Knight: the great thing advantage of the behemoth is that it not only eats the raspberry laiden foe, but also the raspberry! The behemoth however does not eat peaches! The peach assailant should be attacked by a Tiamat!
Knight: <new window> Right now the rest of you, i know you're there, under the floor boards with your dames and your prunes, hiding behind the walls with your fruit, well, i'm ready for you! I eat over 200 tons of jelly a night! and if any of you even try anything, we'll all go out together! I WARNED YA!! (uses all ultima)
Title:
Post by: akwikone on October 09, 2008, 10:18:11 pm
Post by: akwikone on October 09, 2008, 10:18:11 pm
very very pytonesk
Title:
Post by: DarthPaul on October 09, 2008, 11:11:10 pm
Post by: DarthPaul on October 09, 2008, 11:11:10 pm
that made me lol the entire time but it seems a biit too long for that tiny cut scene
Title:
Post by: murak on October 10, 2008, 12:27:06 am
Post by: murak on October 10, 2008, 12:27:06 am
Dead Chocobo FFT Sketch
<Ramza walks into a pet shop, dragging along a large cage with a chocobo in it, the chocobo is oddly still>
Ramza: 'ello miss, I'd like to register a complaint.
Shopkeep: what do you mean miss?
Ramza: <stares at the shopkeep> ...oh, i'm sorry, i have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
Shopkeep: we're closing for lunch.
Ramza: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
Shopkeep: Oh yes, the, uh, the Ivalican Yellow... What's, uh, what's wrong with it?
Ramza: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
Shopkeep: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
Ramza: Look, matey, I know a dead chocobo when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
Shopkeep: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Ivalican Yellow, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!
Ramza: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
Shopkeep: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!
Ramza: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister Boco chocobo! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you show...
(Shopkeep hits the cage)
Shopkeep: There, he moved!
Ramza: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!
Shopkeep: I never!!
Ramza: Yes, you did!
Shopkeep: I never, never did anything...
Ramza: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO BOCO!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!
(Takes chocobo out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)
Ramza: Now that's what I call a dead chocobo
Shopkeep: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!
Ramza: STUNNED?!?
Shopkeep: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Ivalican Yellows stun easily, major.
Ramza: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That chocobo is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged wark.
Shopkeep: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the Mandalia Plains.
Ramza: PININ' for the MANDALIA PLAINS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?
Shopkeep: The Ivalican Yellow prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!
Ramza: Look, I took the liberty of examining that chocobo when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.
(pause)
Shopkeep: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!
Ramza: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!
Shopkeep: No no! 'E's pining!
Ramza: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This chocobo is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-CHOCOBO!!
(pause)
Shopkeep: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh, we're right out of chocobos.
Ramza: I see. I see, I get the picture.
Shopkeep: I got a malboro.
(pause)
Ramza: Pray, does it talk?
Shopkeep: Not really.
Ramza: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?
Shopkeep: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)
Ramza: Well.
(pause)
Shopkeep: (quietly) D'you.... d'you want to come back to my place?
Ramza: (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.
<Ramza walks into a pet shop, dragging along a large cage with a chocobo in it, the chocobo is oddly still>
Ramza: 'ello miss, I'd like to register a complaint.
Shopkeep: what do you mean miss?
Ramza: <stares at the shopkeep> ...oh, i'm sorry, i have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
Shopkeep: we're closing for lunch.
Ramza: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
Shopkeep: Oh yes, the, uh, the Ivalican Yellow... What's, uh, what's wrong with it?
Ramza: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
Shopkeep: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
Ramza: Look, matey, I know a dead chocobo when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
Shopkeep: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Ivalican Yellow, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!
Ramza: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
Shopkeep: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!
Ramza: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister Boco chocobo! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you show...
(Shopkeep hits the cage)
Shopkeep: There, he moved!
Ramza: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!
Shopkeep: I never!!
Ramza: Yes, you did!
Shopkeep: I never, never did anything...
Ramza: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO BOCO!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!
(Takes chocobo out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)
Ramza: Now that's what I call a dead chocobo
Shopkeep: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!
Ramza: STUNNED?!?
Shopkeep: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Ivalican Yellows stun easily, major.
Ramza: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That chocobo is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged wark.
Shopkeep: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the Mandalia Plains.
Ramza: PININ' for the MANDALIA PLAINS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?
Shopkeep: The Ivalican Yellow prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!
Ramza: Look, I took the liberty of examining that chocobo when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.
(pause)
Shopkeep: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!
Ramza: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!
Shopkeep: No no! 'E's pining!
Ramza: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This chocobo is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-CHOCOBO!!
(pause)
Shopkeep: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh, we're right out of chocobos.
Ramza: I see. I see, I get the picture.
Shopkeep: I got a malboro.
(pause)
Ramza: Pray, does it talk?
Shopkeep: Not really.
Ramza: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?
Shopkeep: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)
Ramza: Well.
(pause)
Shopkeep: (quietly) D'you.... d'you want to come back to my place?
Ramza: (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.
Title:
Post by: Dormin Jake on October 10, 2008, 02:48:09 am
Post by: Dormin Jake on October 10, 2008, 02:48:09 am
Heh, Monty Serpentarius.
Title:
Post by: Bastard Poetry on October 10, 2008, 04:43:24 am
Post by: Bastard Poetry on October 10, 2008, 04:43:24 am
HELL YES!
I'm sorry, Cyberblade, because I think this kinda goes against what you had in mind, but..
A Monty Python FFT would be too perfect!
Ramza, Agrias & the Princess approach the guard at Lionel Castle.
Which then becomes..
A lengthy discussion of coconuts and unladen swallows!
At any point when a bunch of Shrine Knights bust in, like at Riovanes to meet with Barinten.
Which then becomes..
"No one expects the Glabados Inquisition!"
Or how about:
Dycedarg, Ramza, Delita and Algus at the dinner table. Death knocks on the door.
"Yes? Is this about the hedges?"
Oh sweet Cleese.. I wish I could help you guys work on something like this, other than cheering the idea on from the sidelines.
I'm sorry, Cyberblade, because I think this kinda goes against what you had in mind, but..
A Monty Python FFT would be too perfect!
Ramza, Agrias & the Princess approach the guard at Lionel Castle.
Which then becomes..
A lengthy discussion of coconuts and unladen swallows!
At any point when a bunch of Shrine Knights bust in, like at Riovanes to meet with Barinten.
Which then becomes..
"No one expects the Glabados Inquisition!"
Or how about:
Dycedarg, Ramza, Delita and Algus at the dinner table. Death knocks on the door.
"Yes? Is this about the hedges?"
Oh sweet Cleese.. I wish I could help you guys work on something like this, other than cheering the idea on from the sidelines.
Title:
Post by: Cyberblade on October 10, 2008, 07:30:48 am
Post by: Cyberblade on October 10, 2008, 07:30:48 am
Ehh things are piling up so this can be moved to the spam section Zodiac and it can be just a MAKE A FFT SKIT/Skecth/scene/event topic XD
Though i will continue i just got 3 projects due next friday so yeah XD
Though i will continue i just got 3 projects due next friday so yeah XD
Title:
Post by: DarthPaul on October 10, 2008, 09:06:25 am
Post by: DarthPaul on October 10, 2008, 09:06:25 am
when wiegraf stabs gustav gustavs lst words would be "its just a flesh wound"
Title:
Post by: Archael on October 10, 2008, 09:29:51 am
Post by: Archael on October 10, 2008, 09:29:51 am
loool murak im liking these
Title:
Post by: Skip Sandwich on October 10, 2008, 11:24:23 am
Post by: Skip Sandwich on October 10, 2008, 11:24:23 am
Rad is hiding in an allyway as a knight on a chocobo rides past, he looks around then then tries to open a door, only to find that its locked, he looks around worridly and starts pounding on it
RAD: Ramza! Ramza! Open up, its me, Rad, I got the stuff from the Fur Shop, come on open up the knights are gonna catch me any minute!
RAMZA (from other side of door): ...Rad?
RAD: Yeah! It's me, Rad, open up!
RAMZA: ...Rad's not here man...
RAD: No! I'M Rad! Open the door man!
RAMZA: ...Rad?
RAD: Yes! Its me, Rad, now for the love of Ajora open the god-damn door!
RAMZA: ...I'm sorry dude, but Rad's not here, you're going to have to come back later...
KNIGHT (from offscreen): There he is! Catch him!
RAD: Shit! *runs off, as he is persued by a knight on chocobo*
LAVIAN (from inside): Hey Ramza, who was that?
RAMZA: I donno, some dude looking for Rad
LAVIAN: Huh... Hey, we got any more Elixers?
RAMZA: No way man, that was the last of 'em, I hope Rad gets back soon, he was supposed to get more...
RAD: Ramza! Ramza! Open up, its me, Rad, I got the stuff from the Fur Shop, come on open up the knights are gonna catch me any minute!
RAMZA (from other side of door): ...Rad?
RAD: Yeah! It's me, Rad, open up!
RAMZA: ...Rad's not here man...
RAD: No! I'M Rad! Open the door man!
RAMZA: ...Rad?
RAD: Yes! Its me, Rad, now for the love of Ajora open the god-damn door!
RAMZA: ...I'm sorry dude, but Rad's not here, you're going to have to come back later...
KNIGHT (from offscreen): There he is! Catch him!
RAD: Shit! *runs off, as he is persued by a knight on chocobo*
LAVIAN (from inside): Hey Ramza, who was that?
RAMZA: I donno, some dude looking for Rad
LAVIAN: Huh... Hey, we got any more Elixers?
RAMZA: No way man, that was the last of 'em, I hope Rad gets back soon, he was supposed to get more...
Title:
Post by: murak on October 10, 2008, 11:38:03 am
Post by: murak on October 10, 2008, 11:38:03 am
(Agrias, Rad, Ramza, and Gafgarion approach Izlude's castle, along with some Igros castle guards)
Ramza: Hello!
Izlude: 'Ello? Who eez eet?
Ramza: It is Heretic Ramza, and these are my friends, and some of my knights from Igros Castle. Whose castle is this?
Izlude: Eet eez ze castle of ME! Lord Izlude!
Ramza: We are on a quest to find pretty stones. If you will help us, you may go on a quest that ultimately ends up battling Ajora!
Rad: (whisper) Ramza, are you insane?!
Izlude: Hmm. Well, I 'm not very keen on that. I've already got one, you see.
Ramza: What?
Rad: He says he's already got one!
Gafgarion: (sighs in relief)
Ramza: If you will not help us, we shall have to take your castle by force!
Izlude: You don't frighten us, Igros pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a Heavenly Knight! I blow my nose at you, so-called Ramza, you and all your silly
Igros Ka-nig-ets! Thhppppt!
Agrias: What a strange person!
Ramza: Now look here, my good man--
Izlude: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed chocobo food trough whopper! I cast Bio in your general direction! Your mother was a behemoth, and your father smelt of elderberries!
Ramza: Is there someone else I could talk to?
Izlude: NO! Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!
Ramza: Hello!
Izlude: 'Ello? Who eez eet?
Ramza: It is Heretic Ramza, and these are my friends, and some of my knights from Igros Castle. Whose castle is this?
Izlude: Eet eez ze castle of ME! Lord Izlude!
Ramza: We are on a quest to find pretty stones. If you will help us, you may go on a quest that ultimately ends up battling Ajora!
Rad: (whisper) Ramza, are you insane?!
Izlude: Hmm. Well, I 'm not very keen on that. I've already got one, you see.
Ramza: What?
Rad: He says he's already got one!
Gafgarion: (sighs in relief)
Ramza: If you will not help us, we shall have to take your castle by force!
Izlude: You don't frighten us, Igros pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a Heavenly Knight! I blow my nose at you, so-called Ramza, you and all your silly
Igros Ka-nig-ets! Thhppppt!
Agrias: What a strange person!
Ramza: Now look here, my good man--
Izlude: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed chocobo food trough whopper! I cast Bio in your general direction! Your mother was a behemoth, and your father smelt of elderberries!
Ramza: Is there someone else I could talk to?
Izlude: NO! Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!
Title:
Post by: Kharan on October 15, 2008, 08:06:42 pm
Post by: Kharan on October 15, 2008, 08:06:42 pm
My turn.
EDIT from boomkick.
God, please help us, sinful...
Argh, I quit! This is stupid. God doesn't exist;
what will the more conscious, illustrated players
think of me?
Female Knight: Princess Ovelia, let's go.
Princess Ovelia: Just shut up, I've almost finished to carve "Simon sucks ass" on the altar.
Agrias: The guards have already arrived.
Priest: Princess, don't be a bitch. Please hurry...
Ovelia: Shut up you old fart. I'm the Princess, remember?
[A knight and two squires comes in from outside.]
Black Knight: What the **** is taking so long? I gotta take a crap.
Agrias: Don't be rude to the Princess, Gafgarion!
[The two squires behind the Black Knight kneel down while the
Black Knight simply bows his head.]
Gafgarion: Agrias, if it was up to me, I'd rip your innards out. But this is an
urgent issue for us.
Agrias: I'd like to see you try, wimpy, incontinent geezer.
Gafgarion: I'm being more than kind to the guard captains
here. Besides, we're mercenaries hired by the Hokuten. I'm not
obliged to show respect to you.
Agrias: What? How dare you!
[The princess stands up.]
Ovelia: Phail, Agrias, utter phailure... Teehee!
[The two squires gets up on their feet. The princess walks
over to the priest.]
Priest: You are the weakest link, GOOD ****IN BYE.
Ovelia: {Give simon a middle finger.}
[A female knight walks in with a nasty wound. The priest helps
the knight.]
Female Knight: Lady Agrias!... The enemy!
Simon: Not another one... they always get hurt and come to ME!
[Agrias quickly rushes out the monastery.]
Gafgarion: What one must do to make money. What, Ramza? You
have a problem, too?
Ramza: Let's go beat the crap outta them!
Gafgarion: ...That's right. Well then. Let's go!
[The Knight and the two squires go outside.]
Ovelia: ...*pulls out a gatling gun*
- Outside the monastery -
-------------------------
Agrias: The crest of the Black Lion!? What's wrong with Prince
Goltana!? He's such an idiot! Does he want to start a war!?
Goltana Knight: Knave! There's no point in resisting! Just
give us the Princess, or I'll run you through with my pointy thing!
[The black knight and the two squires come out to help Agrias
and the others.]
Gafgarion: Fool! Only idiots attack head on, underleveled, underequiped, and without any viable strategy!
Don't think that because you can't die we'll take it easy! Besides, MY pointy stick hurts!
[Agrias steps forward.]
Agrias: Leave this to us!
Gafgarion: We can't make money that way! Wait, we can, but it's not the point. You need my Night Sword to end the battle quickly, and I need it to end BECAUSE I'M GONNA CRAP MYSELF! Underlings, hurry up and stab this garbage to non-death with twirly stars!
Agrias: Nonsense! There's no need to kill them! That's just
what Goltana wants us to do! Just let them go!
Gafgarion: I know that already! Besides, it's NOT in the contract...
[Ovelia runs out massacring all of the enemy, then walk back inside. Then you hear her scream from the back.]
Ovelia: Let go of me!
[Agrias looks at the monastery.]
Agrias: Damn!!
[Agrias runs inside to save the princess. A knight takes the
princess through the back door of the monastery.]
Knight: Come here! Be quiet!!
Ovelia: DON'T RAPE ME! I BEG OF YOU!
Knight: What? You're too ugly deserve my Holy Raping. But I'll use some violence on you just for the heck of it. CRUSH PUNCH!
[The knight punches the princess on the stomach and puts her
on his chocobo. Agrias comes out.]
Delita: Oops, wrong skillset. Well, it worked, anyways.
Agrias: Wait!!
Knight: Don't blame us. Blame yourself or Canada. Or yourself all the more if you're canadian, which puts twice the blame on your shoulders.
[The knight takes off with the princess. Agrias runs after the
knight; realizing she cannot keep up, she falls down on her
knees.]
Agrias: Gafgarion, you stupid canuck, it's all your fault!
Gafgarion: Keep quiet! My sphincter contracts painfully each time I hear your shrilly, ghastly voice!
[Ramza sees the knight.]
Ramza: Who's that guy in the golden armor? [Rad points at Ramza] What? Am I supposed to know it? As if he were my lifelong friend, or a former comrade in battle. Sheesh...
EDIT from boomkick.
God, please help us, sinful...
Argh, I quit! This is stupid. God doesn't exist;
what will the more conscious, illustrated players
think of me?
Female Knight: Princess Ovelia, let's go.
Princess Ovelia: Just shut up, I've almost finished to carve "Simon sucks ass" on the altar.
Agrias: The guards have already arrived.
Priest: Princess, don't be a bitch. Please hurry...
Ovelia: Shut up you old fart. I'm the Princess, remember?
[A knight and two squires comes in from outside.]
Black Knight: What the **** is taking so long? I gotta take a crap.
Agrias: Don't be rude to the Princess, Gafgarion!
[The two squires behind the Black Knight kneel down while the
Black Knight simply bows his head.]
Gafgarion: Agrias, if it was up to me, I'd rip your innards out. But this is an
urgent issue for us.
Agrias: I'd like to see you try, wimpy, incontinent geezer.
Gafgarion: I'm being more than kind to the guard captains
here. Besides, we're mercenaries hired by the Hokuten. I'm not
obliged to show respect to you.
Agrias: What? How dare you!
[The princess stands up.]
Ovelia: Phail, Agrias, utter phailure... Teehee!
[The two squires gets up on their feet. The princess walks
over to the priest.]
Priest: You are the weakest link, GOOD ****IN BYE.
Ovelia: {Give simon a middle finger.}
[A female knight walks in with a nasty wound. The priest helps
the knight.]
Female Knight: Lady Agrias!... The enemy!
Simon: Not another one... they always get hurt and come to ME!
[Agrias quickly rushes out the monastery.]
Gafgarion: What one must do to make money. What, Ramza? You
have a problem, too?
Ramza: Let's go beat the crap outta them!
Gafgarion: ...That's right. Well then. Let's go!
[The Knight and the two squires go outside.]
Ovelia: ...*pulls out a gatling gun*
- Outside the monastery -
-------------------------
Agrias: The crest of the Black Lion!? What's wrong with Prince
Goltana!? He's such an idiot! Does he want to start a war!?
Goltana Knight: Knave! There's no point in resisting! Just
give us the Princess, or I'll run you through with my pointy thing!
[The black knight and the two squires come out to help Agrias
and the others.]
Gafgarion: Fool! Only idiots attack head on, underleveled, underequiped, and without any viable strategy!
Don't think that because you can't die we'll take it easy! Besides, MY pointy stick hurts!
[Agrias steps forward.]
Agrias: Leave this to us!
Gafgarion: We can't make money that way! Wait, we can, but it's not the point. You need my Night Sword to end the battle quickly, and I need it to end BECAUSE I'M GONNA CRAP MYSELF! Underlings, hurry up and stab this garbage to non-death with twirly stars!
Agrias: Nonsense! There's no need to kill them! That's just
what Goltana wants us to do! Just let them go!
Gafgarion: I know that already! Besides, it's NOT in the contract...
[Ovelia runs out massacring all of the enemy, then walk back inside. Then you hear her scream from the back.]
Ovelia: Let go of me!
[Agrias looks at the monastery.]
Agrias: Damn!!
[Agrias runs inside to save the princess. A knight takes the
princess through the back door of the monastery.]
Knight: Come here! Be quiet!!
Ovelia: DON'T RAPE ME! I BEG OF YOU!
Knight: What? You're too ugly deserve my Holy Raping. But I'll use some violence on you just for the heck of it. CRUSH PUNCH!
[The knight punches the princess on the stomach and puts her
on his chocobo. Agrias comes out.]
Delita: Oops, wrong skillset. Well, it worked, anyways.
Agrias: Wait!!
Knight: Don't blame us. Blame yourself or Canada. Or yourself all the more if you're canadian, which puts twice the blame on your shoulders.
[The knight takes off with the princess. Agrias runs after the
knight; realizing she cannot keep up, she falls down on her
knees.]
Agrias: Gafgarion, you stupid canuck, it's all your fault!
Gafgarion: Keep quiet! My sphincter contracts painfully each time I hear your shrilly, ghastly voice!
[Ramza sees the knight.]
Ramza: Who's that guy in the golden armor? [Rad points at Ramza] What? Am I supposed to know it? As if he were my lifelong friend, or a former comrade in battle. Sheesh...
Title:
Post by: Cyberblade on October 15, 2008, 08:51:36 pm
Post by: Cyberblade on October 15, 2008, 08:51:36 pm
OH and just to let yo know all ideas will get consideration for use =P
Title:
Post by: boomkick on October 15, 2008, 11:04:30 pm
Post by: boomkick on October 15, 2008, 11:04:30 pm
Woo!
Im not sure about this part, It may be out of order, but this is the first REAL battle in Chapter 1 with the Squire, Ramza, and Delita speaking.
Squire: Ahh a bunch of GUYS! GAY POWER!
Delita: Watch out, ITS A TRAP!
Ramza: I KNOW THAT! I'm fully resistance to gay prowess.
Squire: Haha right, wait till you see my boomstick!
Ramza: O shit...
Squire: Lets go! GAY PRIDE FTW!
I just thought that this would be fucking hilarious.
Im not sure about this part, It may be out of order, but this is the first REAL battle in Chapter 1 with the Squire, Ramza, and Delita speaking.
Squire: Ahh a bunch of GUYS! GAY POWER!
Delita: Watch out, ITS A TRAP!
Ramza: I KNOW THAT! I'm fully resistance to gay prowess.
Squire: Haha right, wait till you see my boomstick!
Ramza: O shit...
Squire: Lets go! GAY PRIDE FTW!
I just thought that this would be fucking hilarious.
Title:
Post by: DarthPaul on October 16, 2008, 11:17:30 am
Post by: DarthPaul on October 16, 2008, 11:17:30 am
it would be funny if you dump it on someone who doesnt know you made the changes