Use this topic to confess your sins

[Archael]

I think you guys are taking what was supposed to be a humorous confession of "sin" a little too seriously.

on a /note, I've always felt like someone's been watching me when I masturbate. Fuck you guys, I'm getting cleansed. I hope they give me a cool little hat or something.

I know how you can get cleansed

strip club  

[Samuraiblackbelt]

on a /note, I've always felt like someone's been watching me when I masturbate.

I'm sorry

[Vanya]

I think you guys are taking what was supposed to be a humorous confession of "sin" a little too seriously.

on a /note, I've always felt like someone's been watching me when I masturbate. Fuck you guys, I'm getting cleansed. I hope they give me a cool little hat or something.

Same here except my computer has a webcam so my...paranoia is well earned.

Stupid built in webcam making me feel like a whore.

What!?

Uninstall the drivers for it right now!

I have it on good authority that they CAN see you masturbate!

Then they post it on a pay-porn site and make money off your lack of will power!

PS- They can hear you through the secret microphone built into every computer since the 70's. ^_^

[Pickle Girl Fanboy]

I think you guys are taking what was supposed to be a humorous confession of "sin" a little too seriously.

on a /note, I've always felt like someone's been watching me when I masturbate. Fuck you guys, I'm getting cleansed. I hope they give me a cool little hat or something.

I know how you can get cleansed

strip club  

*Story Time*

So this guy, let's call him Tyler, spent an evening in a strip club.  He spent some money, saw boobies, then went home and went to sleep.  The next day, he woke up and he couldn't open his eyes.  So he stumbled around until he found his cell phone, and had his buddies drive him to the emergency room.  He waited there, and after a while a someone came along, washed his eyes out, swabbed them for testing, pronounced that he likely had pinkeye, and sent him home.

Tyler visited his docter, got a prescription for pinkeye goo, and used it, but his infection persisted.  After a few weeks, he got a letter in the mail.  It was the test results on the eye swab the emergency room took.  He didn't have pinkeye; he had a yeast infection.

Moral Of The Story: Don't let a stipper grind her **** in your face if it looks like a ham and cheese sandwich.

[Archael]

whoa.

[SilvasRuin]

That is nasty.  Why must you post something so nasty?  Now I need some brain bleach.

[RavenOfRazgriz]

LOL.

I confess nothing.  Except how annoying it is to have rather nice looking women randomly checking you out when you're already in a rather great relationship with a rather nice looking woman.

TL;DR: I apparently became spontaneously attractive.  FML.

[SilvasRuin]

I think I read somewhere that being in a committed relationship causes you to release some sort of pheromone or something that makes you seem more attractive.  I don't know how truthful that is, but it would explain your situation.

[Dome]

Updated the first post with the sins confessed

*Story Time*

So this guy, let's call him Tyler, spent an evening in a strip club.  He spent some money, saw boobies, then went home and went to sleep.  The next day, he woke up and he couldn't open his eyes.  So he stumbled around until he found his cell phone, and had his buddies drive him to the emergency room.  He waited there, and after a while a someone came along, washed his eyes out, swabbed them for testing, pronounced that he likely had pinkeye, and sent him home.

Tyler visited his docter, got a prescription for pinkeye goo, and used it, but his infection persisted.  After a few weeks, he got a letter in the mail.  It was the test results on the eye swab the emergency room took.  He didn't have pinkeye; he had a yeast infection.

Moral Of The Story: Don't let a stipper grind her **** in your face if it looks like a ham and cheese sandwich.

You were the infected guy?


P.s:

Hey all, this is a sin confession thread, not another RELIGION LOL thread.

Stop making dome's topic suck.

But Dome actually caused this train wreck.

So...

NO U!

[RavenOfRazgriz]

NO U!

NO U!

[Sephirot24]

LOL.

I confess nothing.  Except how annoying it is to have rather nice looking women randomly checking you out when you're already in a rather great relationship with a rather nice looking woman.

TL;DR: I apparently became spontaneously attractive.  FML.

That's actually a REAL attraction mechanism women evolved into using. I talk in spanish, but in english it'd probably translate to "Preselection switch".

You see: their gene's adopted this behaviour through evolution because if you have been accepted by a woman (your current GF or whatever) it means you probably have all the stuff women are looking for in a guy, which are:

1)Good genes.
2)Status, or another advantageous position for their descendants (sp? ... I mean kids).
3)Protection and care.

By doing so, they save time. They don't have to throw all those tests at you because you already passed another woman's tests.

So yeah, it's real. When you're on a relationship more girls look at you, and you indeed have a higher chance of getting somewhere with them.

[iopyud]

So ur wid ur athiest friend adn u were debating abut religoin den wen he disproved u ur prayer has been ansrewered , it told u "My son, you will be saved." den u tell ur athesit friend dat but ur frend said "No, Jseus doesn't real."
THEN WHO WAS PRAYER?

[Bastard Poetry]

Okay, so the strip club idea is a bust.

Also, deathroadawesome...

Fairuza Balk.




Really?




REALLY!?

Robin Tunney PRAWNZ her bug-eyed face with gorgeousity.

[Redux]

The fact that mere looking at an electron moves it, by virtue of a photon bouncing off of it, and that it can colide with other subatomic objects mean Newtonian Physics is just the best guess. You can throw a ball up in the air and there is a small chance anything BUT gravity pulling it down will occur. What that means for the existance of God, i care not. I confess my greatest fear after learning about that (Heisenburg Uncertainty Principle)  and the Copenhagaen School of Possibility and potentiality is that somethnig weird like that will happen to me and now i say totally obtuse htings because of it. Oh that and i dont have a problem teaching 3rd grade ccd even though i couldn't give a damn about the catholic church. (I taught them spanish last week =) )

[Pickle Girl Fanboy]

Okay, so the strip club idea is a bust.

Also, deathroadawesome...

Fairuza Balk.




Really?




REALLY!?

Robin Tunney PRAWNZ her bug-eyed face with gorgeousity.

How does she look bug-eyed?
They're both cute, that's for sure, but Robin just seems so... boring.  I mean, she's sweet and smart and cute, but that doesn't do it for me.
Okay, in The Craft, Robin's Character, Sarah, is Earth, and Fairuza's, Nancy, is Fire.
I'm attracted to women that are a little trashy, a little crazy.  Growing up, my life was a lot like Nancy's (Fairuza's character).  I can relate to Nancy, I guess.
It's hard for me to feel anything about other people, especially women, but when a woman is like me, damaged in some way (and Nancy is definately damaged), the blankness sort of lifts.
It's easier for me to empathize with damaged villians than with their rightous victims.

[Kuraudo Sutoraifu]

So ur wid ur athiest friend adn u were debating abut religoin den wen he disproved u ur prayer has been ansrewered , it told u "My son, you will be saved." den u tell ur athesit friend dat but ur frend said "No, Jseus doesn't real."
THEN WHO WAS PRAYER?

I... uh... *brainsploded*

[SilvasRuin]

I haven't recommended Dome for a ban yet.

[Dome]

I want to troll this guy
the random guy I want to troll

[Zypher]

I haven't sponsored Dome for spam mod, but then again I don't think my words carry much weight.

[Dome]

Now you have