A Stupid Idea

[Defender]

So, for preparation for a battle in Tactics, I turned 4 guys into chemists to learn auto-potion.  Thats when I thought of something so funny/stupid that I had to join this forum and share.  

What if we had a patch that changed every job into something more modern, but made them really ridiculous and funny.  Example: the idea that sparked this thought was turning Chemist into 'Drug Dealer' where all the items are drugs.  And each 'Drug' does something good and something bad based on what the real drug does.  It would be something like weed would heal you/cure poison whatever but slow you down.  And speed would put you in haste and LSD would confuse you or something.  So it would be like a chemist who can be used for you or against the enemy.  

So back to the main idea.  We could change all the jobs into different things, (maybe change the tree for it to make more sense) just to make a hysterical version of the game.  

The following are ideas I came up with in the 20 mins since thinking this up:

Summoner - Satanist/Witch - would still summon but more like Lich type summons, and possibly have a part of their skillset devoted to being gothic and socially awkward.

Mediator - Politician - like the Mediator, attacks with words.  maybe their physical attack could be a mediator bubble that hurts the opponent.  They could also "extend the olive branch" to charm an opponent, or "apologize" to clear their status or go corrupt and "bribe" an opponent to make them not attack (Don't Act).  Also, for like 9999 JP they could call a nuclear strike or something.  

Priest - I guess could still be a priest but have more whacky powers that involve divine intervention.  As well as 'Preach" and any other faith up abilities.  Thankfully there aren't any alterboys in Tactics.

Bard - Singer - would rally your troops by singing different types of stuff, like "Metal" to increase attack power.  I haven't really thought it through just an idea that stays true to the Bard job.  

Dancer - Stripper - would hinder the enemy by "Stripping".  Same as Singer, haven't really thought about it but it stays true to the Dancer job.

Maybe we could turn knights into soldiers and give them guns and archers into hunters (with the "Dick Cheney" shoot your teammates skill of course)

I just felt like I had to share this.

[Defender]

also, Calculator would become "Programmer" and be able to change aspects of the battle, like randomly make people on the battle field poisoned or lose a level.  And they would have the "System Fail" ability that crashes the game, resets the fight etc.

[Vanya]

Sounds like an interesting spoof hack.

[woodenbandman]

I'm behind this 100%.

I want to help out on this, sign me up!

[Defender]

well thanks for the support, this was a half-joke when I posted it, but I'm seriously considering it now.  I would say I don't have the time, but I have an 8 hour graveyard shift job that literally allows me to play video games the whole time.  

But, before I seriously commit to this, we need to come up with more ideas.  as you can see I did only a couple of class ideas, and some were just ideas, no abilities or anything.  If we can get the brainstorming rolling then we begin considering this.

[Cheetah]

Graveyard shifts rule for videogames! That is where I am right now, with my two litters of pepsi, but not my laptop to do graphics on . Stupid call shifts.

[Shintroy]

Stripper would require or make the dnc lose its equipment.
Or... something like the less Equipement the higher % the charm...

Also Female Chemists can be called housewife.
Instead of the normal name for items they should be renamed idk something offensive.
I'd have A ramza, 2 strippers, Goat and a housewife in my set up.

[The Hurricane Dicksmasher]

This abomination of an idea requires far more work than it justifies.

Not saying it wouldn't be funny, just that it wouldn't be funny enough to be worth the effort.

[Tersius]

I like the drug lord idea.  I think it is hilarious.  Anyone know if there would be a way to make it so the side effects only have a chance to show up instead of always showing up?

[DonalbaneBeoulve]

What's really funny is a ways back a friend and I laughed at the idea of a "Pimp" and a "Prostitute" job class, which could infect enemies with various stds. Of course the Pimp could "threaten" the Prostitute in order to receive more gil.