How to Troll Bishop Sasarai on the Gamefaqs WotL Board

[Bastard Poetry]

Wall of text, but an entertaining read, I hope, if you get bored enough. The actual topic is here:

http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/genmessa ... c=47766280

But I'm going to paste the highlights here. NOTE: This epic warfare is still ongoing (I think), so updates will (maybe) happen!

To summarize: Bishop Sasarai takes everything way too seriously, and he has a tendency to be an ass about it. In all honesty, what I'm doing is trolling him. However, since he is an ass, and regularly provokes people, I actually consider what I'm doing to be "counter trolling," much like I did with Hamwitch a long time ago. Also note that, in order to troll, I often say things I don't actually believe or agree with, with a mind to play with him.

----------------------------------------------------

Bastard Poetry:
lol gandersauce!

That line cracks me up.

That's how the love goes for the cheesy lines of the original, friend. Geronimo's a classic. My only real complaint with the PSP version are the fans like Bishop Salsafry who refuse to acknowledge that the PSP version has plenty of cheese as well. It's like a Ren-fest D&D thing, and there's a certain point where some people take it way too seriously.

This topic keeps reverting back to the PSX's cheese. We get it. We've been laughing about those lines for 10 years. Now, let's turn this topic towards the cheese of THIS version. Great start with the gandersauce, I'd say. Now how about that "slew the duke" line? I can't remember where I saw that.. When my friend watched that scene, his first response was "I gotta slew a duke of my own, if you know what I mean."

PSP cheese. Go!

Bishop Sasarai:
"My only real complaint with the PSP version are the fans like Bishop Salsafry who refuse to acknowledge that the PSP version has plenty of cheese as well."

Of course the PSP version has cheese. Every game does. Overall, however, the PSP version is much better than the original.

And my name is Bishop Sasarai. As in, Sasarai of Harmonia. As in, Harmonia from the Suikoden games. As in, Suikoden games being the best RPGs in existence.

Of course, I wouldn't expect the likes of you to appreciate them.

Bastard Poetry:
Of course, I wouldn't expect the likes of you to appreciate them.

Oh, wow.. Did you really just attack me on the possibility of my lack of appreciation for the Suikoden series?

I'm not sure how to respond to something like that.

For the sake of discovery, let's see how I could respond, determining how effective your presumptuous insult would be in the variety of possibilities concerning my relationship with said Suikoden series.

A) If I were a fan, that'd be a pretty bold and nasty assumption for you to make, seeing as how they are so amazing that I, being the die hard fan that I could be, would be trembling at the core of my being at having had my devotion to such a wonderful series be sullied and spat on by a fellow believer in the greatness of Suikoden,

or B) If I hated the series, that'd be among the lamest of all possible insults, wasted on someone who doesn't give a **** if you approve of his disdain for such a terrible, overrated monstrosity of a series, such as Suikoden, which is a name synonymous with "suck," and anyone foolish enough to associate themselves with a character from such a sucky series must also suck by proxy,

or C) If I've never played the games, and consequently have no opinion on them whatsoever, your insult transcends new levels of lame, comparable as it is to, say, a D&D kid in high school telling the biggest, meanest jock in class, "You simply lack the refined and amiable pursuit of a cause worthy enough to toss a game-saving, 12-sided die to the delectable whims of Fate"--a statement which, if I had to guess, would only end in misery on one end of the participants of such a theoretical conversation (and by "end" I mean "butt," tee and/or hee).

I'll let you guess which category I fall under. Because I don't care; any of those above responses sound fine to me, as far as responses from me go. Though I won't be hurt if you decide to stick to your firm belief that the "likes of me" couldn't even begin to fathom the wonders of Suikoden.

It's important to have steadfast convictions.

At any rate, I'm sorry I spelled your name wrong, and yes, you're right, the PSX version does have a greater text-to-cheese ratio--delicious cheese, which gives the text a wonderfully lighthearted feel that, in combination with the faster speed of battles, makes it the superior version, no doubt.

Bishop Sasarai:
"At any rate, I'm sorry I spelled your name wrong, and yes, you're right, the PSX version does have a greater text-to-cheese ratio--delicious cheese, which gives the text a wonderfully lighthearted feel that, in combination with the faster speed of battles, makes it the superior version, no doubt."

Yeah...last I checked, this game wasn't light-hearted at all, and isn't supposed to be. And cheese is delicious to an extent - too much (as in the PSX version) makes you feel sick. I mean, sure, if you like crap dialogue, then by all means, continue to hold the PSX version at a higher level.

Bastard Poetry:
No, that's cool, man, I don't play FFT for the story. It's contrived, overwrought, full of plot holes and it has very weak character development. Both versions. My main interest is in the gameplay itself; hence the reason I prefer the PSX version's faster play.

But this is all personal opinion. I'd be all for letting you have your opinion, Sassafrass, except you regularly talk down to anyone with an opinion outside your own.

Plus, aren't we dodging certain important issues, here? God damn it. Could someone like me truly be capable of appreciating the Suikoden series?

We may never know!

Bishop Sasarai:
Nope, someone like you couldn't appreciate them.

There, I answered your question, botardpoetry.

Bastard Poetry:
It's about damned time, kid.

And you're right! I can't appreciate them, because I'm not into that whole bug-eyed anime thing, and I've heard the dialogue in that series is very mundane and full of errors. I am convinced the rumors are true, and see no need to look into it any further, because the opening video had too many "brave, mysterious bishi warriors" and 12 year old girls with huge mouths, which terrified me greatly.

Well done!

Botardpoetry *Dispenses Cookie*

BusHop Salsarar counters with *Please Eat*

...

Oh, and for the record, I've always held the opinion that the PSP version has a better translation, overall. It was a refreshing one or two runthroughs to experience it, and now I'm back to the challenges and fast gameplay of the PSX version on 120fps.

I just think that a topic about the lame lines in this version should really stay on topic about the lame lines in this version. Making fun of the PSX version's cheese is so 1999.

DominicNY18:
This has gotten interesting.

*sits back with popcorn*

I just think that a topic about the lame lines in this version should really stay on topic about the lame lines in this version. Making fun of the PSX version's cheese is so 1999.

Actually, the original premise of this topic is that the lines in this version are lame compared to their PSX counterparts. So pointing out the flaws of the PSX script is on topic...

*sits back down to eat his popcorn*

Bastard Poetry:
Actually, the original premise of this topic is that the lines in this version are lame compared to their PSX counterparts. So pointing out the flaws of the PSX script is on topic...

Oh.. Really? I guess that'll teach me to forget to read the opening post. Really, whenever I see a topic title that has some indication of a comparison between the two versions, the first thing I do is look for Bishop Sarami's condescending posts. I like to play with him, because he is my friend and we often play.

Err.. God damn it, man. You're ruining everything I've worked for each time you post some insightful, respectful and true statement in the middle of my verbal rampages. That's not how we play this game! So.. knock it off, else I'll inflict an endlessly looping cassette tape of Menudo's Greatest Hits through the Walkman headphones cleverly stapled to your temples. I'm wily like that.

DominicNY18:
*shudders at the thought*

Sounds like one of those "fate worse than death"deals. And since I'm not interested in finding out if you're bluffing or not...

*sits off to the side with his popcorn and promises not to chime in*

Bishop Sasarai:
Bastardpoetry, you shouldn't call a 26 year old a "kid". And how old are you? 16? 17?

Oh, and your concept of Suikoden is completely off, but then again, the more intelligent group of gamers are the ones that can appreciate the series.

Bastard Poetry:
Bastardpoetry, you shouldn't call a 26 year old a "kid". And how old are you? 16? 17?

You're very close, yes. Some of the guys around here know me quite well, and I'm almost entirely convinced they would say I'm like 70. But I'm much younger, and your words have certainly humbled me into recognizing the gap in years between us, Bishop Saszorz. I forget myself sometimes, and it's reminders of the generational gap like the one you've just called to my attention that serve to ground me in a state of reality and humility. Clearly, you are much wiser than I expected; you're in that age where academic achievements now spread out to expanding career options, and I'm sure marriage and/or children are on the horizon. I'm not trying to make assumptions about you; I'm just illustrating how I perceive the mid-to-late twenties as a sort of "age of responsibilities." A time to reflect on the achievements of the first quarter of your life, to question how things will turn out in the next and, more than anything, a time to firmly establish your convictions behind naming yourself after a character in the Suikoden series, and to exert such principles over the head of my ignorant self.

Oh, and your concept of Suikoden is completely off, but then again, the more intelligent group of gamers are the ones that can appreciate the series.

Listen, I wasn't trying to hurt Suikoden's feelings. You have to understand that I'm not as familiar with the games. I've heard they are amazing, and fun and intelligent and epic; but I've also heard they have cardboard cutouts for characters and plotlines that aren't entirely unlike the lack of originality. Well, I shouldn't say that I actually heard those things. I mean, not like someone told me about the games in that way. It was more like the interpretations that I MADE, watching as I did a video on youtube to get a feel for the game's merits and shortcomings. I'm not the sort of person to say to another, "You like crappy things, and therefore have terrible taste in a wide assortment of things." I can appreciate that you hold the Suikoden series to a very high degree of respect and enjoyment. However, when you watch the same video I watched, you can see how a youngster like me would be turned off by the flagrant display of what you would call "groundbreaking, intellectual food for thought" and what I would call "bright, flashy cartoons about guys with swords and women who look like 12 year old girls with huge mouths."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EWRi4gMjJY

This video scared me. I will admit that.

From my initial perspective: CLEARLY, the Suikoden series has cliche, mysterious "warrior types" all over the map, and girls and boys alike tend to spew glittering rain from their glowing, dinner-plate-sized cataracts. There's lots of fire and magic, which (to me at least) implies sin and devil worship. And, worse than anything else, and VERY evident in that video, is the music of the series--it's very angsty and depressing and full of nasty Metallica-like sounds that truly violate my sensibilities. I've listened to stuff like Nobuo Uematsu, Yanni and the Jonas Brothers. (I wish they'd form a band together, that'd be SO kawaii!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!exclamationpoints).

My inability to cope with the Suikoden series, as it has presented itself to me, is certainly personal. I won't deny that my tastes and background alienate me against it. But I don't appreciate being told I'm "not intelligent enough to understand." I'm full of intelligence, Bishop! I know things like the difference between whole numbers and integers; that Hawthorne wrote some stuff about puritans; that the Matrix is a delusional world meant to enslave humans like batteries. You would tremble at the sheer scope of my knowledge, surely.

I like to think that we're making progress towards an inevitable friendship.

...

One last thing:

In that video, I did really really really like the puppy at 1:24. He was super cute and obviously made of cuddles and sunshine.

Here's a snapshot I took to show you guys so you don't have to find it in the video:



I just wish that stupid fox man would get out of the picture already.

[DarthPaul]

Lol Bishop Sasalfry.

[Dominic NY18]

*approves of this thread*

[Dominic NY18]

To add on, earlier in the topic, he was arguing with ximaus (another GFAQs user) over what kind of English they use in the game. He had the same general attitude towards him, though he was wrong right from the beginning.

LOL @ being made of cuddles and sunshine.

[AngrySurprisedFace]

Did he not comment back?

I enjoyed reading this.
Thank you.

:')

[CidIII]

Yeah, this was hilarious especially when you were talking about what he's probably doing in his life at 26, which he obviously isn't.

Lol, post more.

[Zozma]

haha, good read.

sassafrass lol. i like the suikoden series but seeing all the warped version of  sasarai's name was great. i hate that twerp on the game. i wish luc had managed to kill him.

[akwikone]

bushop salsarar, Genius, one of the few things on the internet that I truly laughed out loud at

also it's interesting to compare how you and Voldemort debate(see http://www.ffhacktics.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1181 ), while Arch uses blunt(like +20 blunt bludge'oing hammer) cold hard facts to pound the oposition into the dust, you use your sharp wit and style(like +20 intelegents storm rod) to get past there guard and slit there throut

another note it's three A.M., so if my spelling's off you know why

[Bastard Poetry]

Thanks, everyone.

And you should see what it looks like when Voldemort and I get into a debate:

http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/genmessa ... c=45852143

Tons of fun, especially since we did it knowing we'd still be friends in the end. (Actually, more than friends.. We became father and son).

[Bastard Poetry]

Still no response from Biship Sarfrosa

[SentinalBlade]

(Actually, more than friends.. We became father and son).

o.o? is that some kinda catacalysmic space time distortion? Voldemort has no fat...

*fpbnaspvmsavav*

"hi, Dad!!"