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2 things i would change, i actually think its better to keep the long part of her hair all the way to the back. and the other thing, her head on the main forward diagonal frame (stopped), i think you should be able to see all of her shoulder armor, none covered by hair.
i tested the sprite and its put together pretty well, the only thing is with the attacking animations the long hair doesn't connect properly to her head
Its probably the lack of hair on the shoulders making her neck seem so narrow, since it covers them in the original portrait.Necks in Tactics seem really long overall anyway, just look at Ramza's Ch 1 portrait.