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A drawing of Jun Kazama *UPDATED* Version 3.33

Started by arne_friedrich, December 20, 2011, 11:05:30 pm

arne_friedrich

December 20, 2011, 11:05:30 pm Last Edit: December 23, 2011, 06:13:39 am by arne_friedrich
I know, this forum's mainly about Final Fantasy.. but Lijj wanted me to post this drawing so he could see it.
This is Jun Kazama from the Tekken Franchise, i dont own her  :|
Hope you folks like the drawing!  :mrgreen:
:EDIT:
I've put in a new picture where i have listened to reviews from several parties
namely Kage, Redworld, Xif, Celdia, and Lijj (if you have given me feedback and I've taken your advice but I haven't listed your name then please let me know so I can give you credit. A lot of people have given me feedback and I'm sorry I can't remember all of them :/)
i have therefore adjusted the following :
the eyebrows
the ear
the right hand
the breasts
the overall darkness of the picture

:EDIT (again ~.~):
seeing there were still some a certain few flaws, i have decided to edit the drawing again.
This time i've changed:
the mouth
the chin
the collar bone (not sure if i did this one right, because i was unable to understand others' instructions on how to fix it)
the eyes
the hair (i've made the four loose strands of hairs on both sides symmetrical)

*note* i may edit the boobs again, but that depends on redworld. i'll need clarification on his lates feedback because
i'm not entirely certain which part of the breast he would like me to alter :S

Have a nice day!

the links to the old pictures :
Version 3.1  http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/3044/jun31.jpg
Version 3.32 http://img687.imageshack.us/img687/285/jun332.jpg

(i do not mind criticism, just make sure that it is justified)

Kagebunji

I like her hair a lot, best part of the whole drawing IMO. What throws it off for me is the face, it looks somewhat long(reminds me of gorillas for some weird reason :/), and arms seem pretty straight(could use more bended lines, not soo straight). Overall it is nice though, like I said, hair rocks, especially shading on it.
  • Modding version: Other/Unknown

arne_friedrich

Lol thanks for your views! :mrgreen: not too sure about the proportions cuz I've asked a few people and they think she looks balanced (if u asked me I think I made her too fat :P) but anyway you may be right about the arms, I'll definitely consider your opinions if I make another drawing. :)

RedWorld

HER BOOBS ARE SQUISHED. LMAOASDFGHJKL
There. Now that I got my 9th grader... thing... out. XD

I'm assuming it's realism, and for that, I will admit that I can't seem to do realism for the life of me and this is quite good for starters! :D And as I say my points, I will say them from my own perspective on how I draw, for I'm an artist as well. (Anime artist!)

Starting with the head. The ear is a bit too high. As my anatomy is, it should be smack-dab in the middle, the start of the connection starting from the top of the eye and the end connection ending at the tip of the lip. (Don't worry, ears aren't my strongpoint either.) The nose, being realistic, should point out more. In my perspective, it looks like it's in the middle, but it could be just shading and I'm just seeing things. FFFFFFFFF

As for the bottom part, the breasts ARE squished together, as I said with my inappropriate comment earlier. xD;; Quick tip on that; breasts are free and should be able to "hang loose" if you will, which means they are a bit separated, like the one on her left is fine, but the right should move a bit more to her right since there is no force, such as arms squishing them... or something. (OK GUYS. STOP BEING PERVERTED.) And lastly, the hands. They are the hardest things to draw and you made them look better than I could. xD But of course, her right arm's hand is smaller. The average hand size should cover up the main parts of the face, but some anime artists, like myself, tend to make them smaller. With hands, try to make them the same size.

/end review

Here's a random tip I learned from a How to Draw Manga book: Try not to watch your pencil when you draw. For example, you know the fun activity called "connect the dots?" And how there's a point A and point B and so on. Let's say you were doing an activity like that. Don't watch the pencil go to A then B. Instead, start at A and look at B as you draw. Your lines will tend to look better.

And if you feel like I offended you, I'm not trying to. ;A; I'll just delete my post if it does. Kay? <3


"Dear God, what's it like in your funny little brains? It must be boring." - Sherlock Holmes

arne_friedrich

Lol no! Dont delete the post! I appreciate your comprehensive review ^^
anyway I agree with you Im fixing the ear,
Tho she has a long nose so I can only stretch it up to the tip of her nose..
Otherwise it will look too long.
And DAMN you were spot on about the hands.. They were a nightmare..
I Don't think I'll be touching the boobs too much.. Maybe I'll edit it a bit,
Tell me if it'll look any better.
I don't think I'll touch the nose.
Thanks for your feedback! :)

Lijj

Good to see something like this posted here. I can't criticize it.. I only have one suggestion: get a darker leaded pecil like a 2b and go over it to make the lines and shading nice and stark.
  • Modding version: PSX

arne_friedrich

But.. I did use a 2B O.O for the whole drawing!

Kagebunji

Hair shading looks even better now, wow. Hair is soo well shaded that the rest of the shading looks bad now, haha. Good job on this.
  • Modding version: Other/Unknown

RedWorld

Whether you take some of my criticism or not is totally up to you. c: I'm not forcing anything down your throat like others would. xD

Wow! It looks a lot better! Even the ear is 23432958x better than what I can do! O3O But as everyone said, you did great shading on the hair now and it just looks so good! ^^

The only thing that's just catching my eye is still her breast. xD What I would do is take her right breast and just move it, as in, put a little line on the shirt. Remember! Breasts are affected by gravity too!

/end review the 2nd


"Dear God, what's it like in your funny little brains? It must be boring." - Sherlock Holmes

arne_friedrich

December 22, 2011, 08:48:26 pm #9 Last Edit: December 22, 2011, 11:52:27 pm by arne_friedrich
Thank you Kage and RedWorld! :D and no redworld, nobody is forcing anything down my throat, who gave you that idea? I appreciate all forms of legitimate criticism but simultaneously I have to keep the drawing true to Jun's identity which is why unfortunately not all of the criticism can be implemented :/ however I have done my best to understand what others have been telling me about the drawing and so to the best of my abilities I have tried to improve the drawing based on the feedback I received.

lol basically Kage I just made the hair darker so it's opacity would seem more realistic.
And yea the ear was kinda hard, but the hands.. ~.~
And redworld, I am not certain where I am supposed to insert this line you're suggesting. Do I put it in between the breasts or do I put it above the right breast?

formerdeathcorps

December 24, 2011, 03:48:52 am #10 Last Edit: December 24, 2011, 04:39:24 am by formerdeathcorps
The way you wrote that Kanji is wrong, though it probably wouldn't be noticed by anyone who hasn't learned to write Chinese characters.  Here's an attachment detailing what I mean (as well as her name in simplified Chinese).
What's specifically wrong is that from the way you wrote the first character, I can tell you essentially spent at least 2 strokes to write a one stroke and your last character is technically incorrect (it's missing the radical variant of "人" for the character "凖")。

Honestly, my calligraphy is terrible and having to write in MS Paint certainly doesn't help, but I hope this helps.
The destruction of the will is the rape of the mind.
The dogmas of every era are nothing but the fantasies of those in power; their dreams are our waking nightmares.

arne_friedrich


arne_friedrich

this is one of my early attempts at calligraphy.
is it okay or is it down-right shitty?


arne_friedrich

Lol she is a character from the tekken franchise ^^

Lijj

Hmm I wonder why in my dictionary the third character has the right most line on top angled differently. Yours and FDC's are more similar in that aspect.
The actual brush strokes don't look like they were done in the right direction in some parts; like the third stroke of the third character for example, that line should fade out in an upward motion. The other ones might be in the right direction but it's hard to tell.
  • Modding version: PSX

arne_friedrich

hmm. i think my effort looks really sloppy actually  :oops: ok i'll definitely try again, but should i make it thicker and should i adjust the opacity?