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New event from a patch i've been working on lately

Started by Adhelbert, December 03, 2018, 03:44:25 am

Adhelbert

Hey all!


It's been over a month since i started eventing, here is a scene from a short run patch i have been working on,
more to come in the next days:








Leave your opinion down there if you feel like to.


Edit:

I appreciate that. although i don't appear to be catching up real fast, i'm really happy with the progress.

I got a list on what's need to be changed already, i'll get to it tonight.


Edit 2:

Here is an updated version of the event, i just didn't post it earlier because i've been too sick, anyways, i hope it looks much better now.









Enjoy!
  • Modding version: PSX

Xifanie

I can't properly review this right now (I have a murderous headache), but I just wanted to say that everyone so far more or less started at your level (well except for me, but I'm also the one who discovered and documented 98% of event instructions) and that any feedback we give you is essentially just meant to make you more aware of what you can do to make your events more engaging. So far everyone who has kept at it wanting to improve are now making amazingly-looking events, so hopefully that's what you strive for too!

So even if the criticism feels overwhelming, I highly encourage you to listen to our opinions and re-record the changes so we can review again, until the event is more or less perfect. Both Elric and Nyzer learned very fast this way.
  • Modding version: PSX
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Adhelbert

December 14, 2018, 06:45:48 am #2 Last Edit: December 14, 2018, 07:31:35 am by Mike
Heyyy! :mrgreen:



Popping off to let y'all know that i have updated the original post with a better version of the same event, i've also left the original one for comparing purposes if you might say.
  • Modding version: PSX

Nyzer

Crap. Meant to look this over before when I was home, and forgot. Not home now but hopefully I'll remember later this time.
  • Modding version: Other/Unknown

Nyzer

1) The character doesn't start facing the right direction. You can catch her spawning looking the wrong way for a frame.

2) The character spawns immediately once the camera finishes moving, which looks rushed.

3) Characters walking in off screen should actually appear slightly off screen at first, blacked out. Not just spawning in instantly. For that, use SpriteMove to shift a character's sprite off their actual position before they're Drawn, then move the sprite onto their real position (it's best if you only do this at a flat line of equal height from where they are and where they're Moving from).
UnitAnim(x01,x00,x0003,x00)
SpriteMove(x01,x00,-00012,-00000,-00000,x00,x02,-00000)
ColorUnit(x01,x00,x01,-006,-004,-002,000)
Draw(x01,x00)
ColorUnit(x01,x00,x04,-000,-000,-000,004)
SpriteMove(x01,x00,-00000,-00000,-00000,x00,x02,+00020)
WaitSpriteMove(x01,x00)


Use a time of about 00045 per panel (28 pixels) walked at normal speed. 00020 for walking to the first tile on screen (12 pixels).

4) She changes the direction she's facing during her initial monologue; characters normally don't do that, so it stands out like a sore thumb. Let her finish moving before you have her start talking, and if those are indeed two different messages make sure that first one closes. (Dialogue nitpick: there's not really any reason for her to talk about her harp. You can just have her musing that it's been a long day and she's ready to be back in town already.)

5) I think you'd do better to not have the camera focus on the movement of those enemies. Move all four of them to the edge of the screen at once, without moving the camera, and while playing the footsteps sound effect. It draws a parallel between how both the character and the player notice them. You can keep their sprites blacked out the entire time as they get into position, too.

6) She realizes she's about to be ambushed, so she... runs deeper into it? IMO, make her walk deeper into the map at first, and then as the ambush closes in she should try to run back the way she came.

7) The camera should follow her as she moves.

8) The rebels should be moving as soon as they see she's moving; give two of them a brief delay before they rush out of cover, then another, even briefer delay before the others join in. (Staggering out their actions so they move more realistically and less like a unified hive mind.) She should not run to the middle and wait for them to take their turn.

9) The ambush closes in rather quickly. What speed are you moving them at? +24 should be the standard "run" speed.

10) Having two of them attack her to knock her out looks a bit awkward. Either she should make a doomed effort to fight back or they should simply intimidate her into submission, considering they have her surrounded and outnumbered.

11) The dialogue in general is a bit awkward. I'm thinking English isn't your first language? Still, that's a trivial fix that doesn't have too much to do with the event itself, so I wouldn't worry about it. I almost didn't mention it, but decided to edit it in since I might as well cover everything.
  • Modding version: Other/Unknown

Adhelbert

Thanks Nyzer for taking time to review this. Really, lot of what you said make even more sense after watching the video another time.
I will make sure to work on it this weekend (hopefully).  :) :)
  • Modding version: PSX